Dear MIMsters: How My Husband Finally Stood Up For Me Against MIL’s Excesses
Proud of my husband who finally stood up for me against MIL’s excesses.
My MIL has always been a pain in the neck and no, this is not your typical MIL-DIL tussle. I’ve always regarded my MIL but she is too overbearing and controlling. I realised that it was important for me to start standing my grounds and stop her from pushing me around if I was going to parent my children properly and live my life in happiness. She wants to be the one who makes decisions about my children, where we live, what school they go to, everything. How can I live with that? Am I a child?
My husband and I live in different countries due to his work, and we all lived in the same house with MIL where MIL picked on everything on and criticised everything I did. She interfered with my parenting. No decision I made concerning my children went without being criticised.
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To have my peace, I rented an apartment and moved out. MIL said I could move but she won’t let me take the children. I told her to watch and see. My husband was on the fence. He didn’t take sides with anyone and left me all alone to sort that one and I did. I moved out with my kids (it was drama on that day) and tried to get my life together but MIL won’t leave me alone.
You see, my husband never wants to get in between MIL and I and I totally understand that. I started learning how to deal with things myself.
Hubby then begged me to allow her take the kids for weekends and I agreed. My children are 13 and 7. I wished I had said no but I said yes. This was how MIL got the chance to poison my children’s minds against me. She would give them money to buy their love. I have a policy not to give my children cash. I buy what’s necessary for them and everything else they want, we have to talk about it and make a plan. Thankfully, my daughter was not bought over by MIL but my son was.
As an African parent, it’s normal for me to give my kids a hiding, once in a while and because I disciplined my son for behaving badly, he told MIL who went to report me to child protection.
MIL stormed my apartment accompanied by child support officers and she told my children to pack their things. My daughter refused to go but my son packed and left. I was crushed. I was shattered and broken. This was what MIL has always wanted, an excuse to take my own children from me. She insults me and puts me down in front of the kids. Which mother will take that?
For the first time, I saw hubby act like a man. Without telling his mum, hubby flew into the country. He came home that morning and I was shocked to see him. He told me to drive to MIL. MIL was so shocked to see him and without a word to her, he called our son and warned him never to disobey his mum. He pointed at me and told our son, “this is your mother who gave birth to you, and you MUST listen to her because you are not yet a MAN.” His mother tried to get his attention with her drama but he paid her no attention. That’s how we left with our son.
MIL came the next day and hubby refused to open the door for her. He told her that the only condition to open the door for her was if she was ready to apologise to me and she left. Hubby left the country two days after. For these few days, hubby took his time talking to our son and disciplined him.
I feel so much better and I am happy to have my son back. I am also glad to see hubby stand up to his mother’s excesses for the very first time. My son is listening to me and respecting my words again. Let no one ever come between a mother and her children. Nothing can be more hurtful than that.
This is to inspire women to say no to humiliation and interfering and meddling family members and also to inspire men to stand up for what is right no matter whose ox is gored.