Dear MIMsters: How My Husband’s Aunty Tries Very Hard to Control My Home
My husband lost his mother when he was 3-months-old. He’s the only child of his mother and the first child of his father, so his dad’s younger sister brought him up. She is my husband’s aunty.
This woman never contributed a dime to his education but she always made sure his dad paid his bills. This same woman was my PHE teacher in secondary school. Hubby and I are from the same town.
Fast forward to when I met hubby, I discovered she was in total control of his life as she dictates to him and hubby tries not to offend her. I didn’t complain to hubby too.
After we got married, she still wanted to be in charge of our marriage. She would ask if hubby and I don’t fight because I have never discussed my marital issues her. She authoritatively said we should start attending her C $ S church. I agreed but hubby declined. She was so angry. She forced me to and I had to attend like 5 times before hubby finally stopped me. I didn’t want to have issues with her. She would send hubby on errands anyhow.
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After I gave birth, I over heard her telling someone that by fire by force I would join her church that I cannot be dictating to her.
Hubby said he wanted a silent naming ceremony for our child but this woman declined. She called my father-in-law not to come. She lied against my parents that the were the ones that asked my hubby to disobey her. Her children insulted my parents and I. When I couldn’t take it anymore. I insulted her children. She went to my father-in-law and lied that I sent messages to her but she couldn’t present those messages saying that she already deleted those messages. She almost turned my father-in-law against me.
Ever since I got married to hubby, his father has never poked his nose into our affairs. But this woman wants to know everything.
She wanted to put crosses on my baby’s neck and hand but hubby declined. She wanted her pastor to be in charge of our naming but hubby declined. Ever since that naming ceremony incident, she’s refused to pick our calls.
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She tells everyone who cares to listen that I’m the one controlling my husband simply because hubby decided to be a man and not her boy. She saw my parents and didn’t greet them even when they greeted her. Hubby said if he hadn’t taken that decision not to do the naming in her own way, that I would have a big problem in our marriage forever. My concern now is that it’s seven months now but she won’t stop speaking evil of hubby and I to everyone. We get calls every day from different people about this woman’s false accusations against me. But hubby is solidly behind him in this. He said he doesn’t want to have anything to do with her for now that he wants to enjoy his family and marriage.
Hubby said he cannot allow her to control his marriage the way he control other peoples home. Please ma, how can I correct the wrong impression she has given everyone about me? She lied to hubby’s step siblings and they all stopped talking to me.
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Father-in-law doesn’t even know she’s still fighting us because she lied to him that she has settled with us. Lest I forget, this woman is an evangelist in her church. She’s a church minister who left her matrimonial home few months ago. She doesn’t devote time to her husband. Rather she peeps into her siblings marriages. Every member of her church feels she’s a saint.
What should I do?
How do u clear the false tales sbe’s been spreading?-Follow in your husband’s steps. Ignore her & channel your attention to more productive things. Stop trying to please her and live ur life!
What should you do? Allow her to continue spewing bullshit. One day the truth will come out. Do not let whatever she tells people get to you please. You are lucky to have a great husband who is solidly behind you. Don’t go and do anything to infuriate him and loose him. Let her be. Live and let live.
Just press Ignore, she’s a destroyer.