Dear MIMsters: Why My Husband and I are Not Meant to be Together
Mimsters, I got married because I had a baby with my boyfriend. Our relationship was not going on well because we are not compatible, not meant for each other.
After the arrival of my baby, we were still not ready to settle because we knew our problem but both our families pushed us to get married, so we had our traditional wedding. Afterwards, I thought we will try and make things work but I still felt his heart was not with me.
I was working and living with my parents while he lived in another state. I was pressured again to leave my job to be with my husband. I did. I thought I would get a job there but I could not. He bore all the expenses of running the house which I was not comfortable with. He was not earning much too. That brought about petty quarels at home.
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I got to know he was cheating but I ignored it. I just wanted him to be happy and let me be, although I was a bit hurt within. I got pregnant again and came home to my mum to deliver my baby. He visited and told me he has been transfered to another state but he spends most of his weekends and holidays in the previous state which is also his hometown.
When I complain, he will say that it is his hometown so he cannot stay away. I have been expecting him to visit us often but he does not. It’s been almost two weeks since I delivered but he still has not visited. We spoke last weekend, he said he’s in his hometown. I got angry. I just think our relationship is still not working. He does not care about me nor love me. This guy has never posted my picture on his wall even when we were dating but would put up the picture of other girls. He is a good father, he cares and love his kids but has no love for me.
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Should I end this marriage and free us?
Message.. Why on earth did u get pregnant the 2nd time knowing situation on board? The mistake some of you women make is by thinking you will use baby to tie a man Hell No it doesn’t work that way ok so if you can pray then fine if not you better walk away n stop bearing kids in an unhealthy relationship.
hmmmmnnnn…u in it already.u just have to keep praying and tryina work tings out.u dint quit wen u should hav
Running away is not the best option,pls see a marriage counsellor i pray things work out fine
Hmmmmmmm he loves his kids and yet hasn’t come to see the one u just had for 2weeks. I used to always say this, don’t marry a person because u got preggy for them or because family pressured you to. Marry someone who cannot live without you and not someone u cannot live without. I think you should put it in prayers to God.
My dear its a pity you were forced into such marriage but pls if you can talk to his family and let them talk to him maybe that will make a difference. Pls still put more effort in working things out and see if things will be fine because of the kids pls. Also pray for him cos there is no heart to strong for the Holy Spirit to break and change
Message.. @Mon Gemini thanks a lot for that u hit the nail cus I dnt get how he luvs the kids n den not come to see dem.
hmmmn….dear poster geting pregnant and having babies 4 him will not make him love u, right from d begining u knew u were not compatable, marriage is not sometin u can manage, u have created d cross carry it wit endurance. It is well sis
Be patient dear
Hmm,if u ask me na who i go ask.
De matter wey u c so e tey wey I start,no b me go talk am,e heavy for mouth.
May God interven
Aah well jst follow ur heart is obvious he doesn’t love above all pray
Let him go since its not working cos marriage is to be enjoyed not endured.
Be patient. Just take it easy. Pray about it too.it us well
Hmmmm dear poster he obviously has no love for you and staying in an unhealthy relationship is also not healthy for u and ur kids. But keep praying dear things might turn out for dinner better
Hmmmm dear poster he obviously has no love for you and staying in an unhealthy relationship is also not healthy for u and ur kids. But keep praying dear things might turn out for the better
Both of u are not compatible.But jst knw for him 2 stay without seeing his 2 weeks old baby since birth means he doesnt love his kids.Pls dnt get pregnant again(atleast 4 now).Get something doing(a job or biz)and live 4 ur kids
Hmmmmm!! weigh ur options dear. You know this man more than we do. In all give you alone can make urself happy, so make up ur mind.
Keep praying and find something to do. Good enough there’s no physical abuse
I don’t think he’s a gud father like u claim. A gud father will not coming running down to see his new born as soon as he receives de news.Well,u allowed all dis to happen by ur parents pushing u to marry sum1 u dnt love n 2ndly by getting preg de 2nd time.Its now up to u if u wanna stay or not.Its only God dat cn change him.
You don’t marry cos you r pregnant but cos ur compatible and you can live with d person’s excesses without feeling used. But since this has happened you have two alternatives. Since d marriage is not a physically abused one, you can stay and pray him back to loving you. Give ur time to pleasing God and he will cause ur spouse to be pleased with you and turn his heart towards you. But if you think you just can’t cope and there’s no where in ur heart you can love him den back out but if I were you I would take d first option mainly cos he is no physically abusing you and ur life is not threatened per say. Goodluck.
Mmmmm. Well u should have avoided getting into this mess by turning down the marriage idea since u knew he never loved u from the unset. And I don’t think he’s a good father else he’ll visit more often to check on his kids n play his fatherly role. I’ve never heard of a responsible father whose wife delivered and he’s not visited d wife or see the baby for 2 weeks when he’s staying within reach. I advise you stay, keep enduring like u have and pray for the best for the sake of ur children since it’s already two late to opt out. None of the two families will even understand or feel ur pain since he’s not physically abusive. Just pray he’s not building another family somewhere. Pray, get a job that’ll keep you busy, change ur looks for the better, be happy and hope for the best. God’ll work things out for u.
madam when you know that he doesn’t luv u why did you have to push on with the wedding,why don’t u tell your family , marriage when you rush in you can’t rush out,just focus on your kids,my God will help you .
Move on with your life, you got only one to live.
this is saddening. find a way to cajole him so u guys get counselling,better from a pastor specialised in it. keep praying about it.there have been couples like this but right now d love btw them is priceless. God help u,amen
Pls get a job and face your kids, if he comes back, fine, but if not pls move on with your life, u can still get a good man even after two kids. He never loved you and you never loved him.
End it already.That thing you are in is not marriage,marriage is meant to be enjoyed
He loves his kids but does nt even hv atom of love for u, and u took in for him for d second time? Its high time women realised dat pregnancy can never keep a man or mk hm love u…All I can say is for u to keep praying and get a life for urself. I believe wat will be will be. So focus on ur kids for nw.
Message..you people should settle the differences since they re two children der nw a home is establish now those children parental love now.
Message..you people should settle the differences since they re two children der. a home is establish now those children parental love.
Dear MIM readers i nid advice ………
Itz been two months plus since i deliver my baby through CS and i can’t still get my stomach back 2 shape. Plz what do i do to flatten my stomach?
Pls search for Ketogenic World on Facebook and join…sure,you will not regret being a member of the Keto Family..
Gettin pregnant the second time was the biggest mistake u made, there’s certainly no love in that marriage, so jst walk away so that u can find love and happiness.
This woman needs advice she is already in d mess everyone at one point in life does.so my dear you said his jobless? Which can lead to frustration.you don’t have something doing too aaba it’s easy that is why he has not come knowing his financial situation.who will cater for child you-know-men all de think of is money money first.be prayerful,try get a job,pray to God to favour him to get a good job too.with all these and his children he will come back to been a good husband.you are now a mother of two imagine where do you want to start from by leaving him train them together all will be well.
Glory abeg just two month and is cs cool down it will come down.I know you can’t wait to get back to shape don’t rush with time you will.