Since I Made This Shocking Discovery About My Husband, I’ve Been Dying Quietly
Last year December, my husband who is based abroad came to Nigeria for the holidays.
When I had the opportunity, I snuck into my husband’s phone but I wasn’t prepared for what I found. What I found shocked me. From their conversation, I found out that a white lady is expecting his child. She is 5 months pregnant for my husband.
She even sent my hubby a picture of her protruding tummy, announcing it is a baby girl after doing a scan. It shattered my heart to see my hubby so excited to the point that he has even named the unborn baby, Angel.
This is me who already 2 kids for my hubby, and they are both boys. I am so heartbroken. I wept for days after this discovery. Since then, I have been keeping it to myself pretending like I didn’t know what is happening. I need help now. I need advice on how to confront my husband about this. Going by my calculations, this white woman will soon put to bed. What should I do? How should I handle this heartbreaking situation?
I don’t know why Nigerian women will find out things about their husbands and still keep quiet and be hurting inside. Na wa oh. Whatever happened to communication? You need to confront him asap about your discovery before you die with HBP *God forbid.
Communication is the key pls confront ur husband tday b4 d question put some parable related to dt ad c wat he will answer
Call for d girl attention she is a chameleon
I don’t know why majority of guys outside d country hooks with white ladies
Madam why will you check his phone in the lst place,u had trust issue that’s why u re sneaking on his phone,his phone is his privacy you should have respected it first,since I don’t think he goes through your phone you shouldn’t.I guess u have seen what u wanted to see…you are His wife,he got married to you & not the white woman,he gave u his name not the white woman,I think there must be a reason if u only confront him peacefully
Men and women spend hours and days in each other’s private part and yet they call it private. Why should going through your spouse’s phone be an issue. Is it more private than the private part?
I wonder o! Wot shud be regarded as private between a man and a woman that have come together as one huh? Shud any of them still keep secrets or be engaged in illicit acts? This is so unfair on, i see no reason y i can’t access my hubby’s phone at any fucking time nd likewise he access mine. May God deliver our homes from strange people o
Asike God bless you for your statement.
” We are living in a generation where people in love are free to touch each others’ private parts but can not touch each others’ phones because they are PRIVATE”- Robert Mugabe
Thanks for your comments
Communication! where have u gone to? My dear, we all know most guys outside hooks up with white ladies for permanent security but that should not make u to be displaced, if that’s d situation, he should have discussed it with u first but since
He didnt, then u confront him for an explanation so u can truely know ur position nd be prepared for ur kids, but that doesn’t mean end of d marriage as d strange woman is waiting patiently to see u out but remember, most whites can’t come to live in Nigeria with their guys so, hold ur man Weller.
Privacy indeed.Trust indeed.Just so you know,it’s only God that should be trusted 100%.If you must put your trust in man make sure you’ve installed shock absorber in you
2 shall become one, even the bible confirms that, there is nothing wrong in checking your husband’s phone
That’s rather harsh! A woman knows when something is wrong and she probes to protect her home. We’ve seen men walk out on their wives and kids and people will always ask if she didn’t have an inclination that it would happen. Don’t make excuses for a cheating man but rather help her build a better state of mind. Nobody likes to be 2nd best, even you!
Can u even listen to urself? U sound so dumb! A common phone is personal but she can expose her body to him? I’d like for U to explain how phones are private property even to ur spouse if u have no hidden agenda? If u can see a woman’s nakedness, whats more private than that? Pls if u have nothing to contribute here I suggest u go and wash ur clothes!
@ kelechi I guest u are a single girl who can staped her fellow woman if dat ur respond is not an idle one as husband and wife are dey not one? if u think she touching his phn is a sin Wht abt if sm tin bad happened t him and wife is t use his phn at dat sport dat mean she will not use it may b she will fold her hand watch sm tin bad happened t her husband, dis typ of ur respond is Wht men here and hv refuse t change
Kelechi or what do you call yourself…….See who is talking. Phone is private but their naked bodies are not private. Useless men grazing all around the universe. Is a matter of time, all your cups will get full. Remember to reference me when it happens
Its phone its is private part while his pe–s its is public part. Hmmmm this is serious!
she should not check her hubby’s phone or what are u saying? pls there is no privacy b/w husband and wife.
Is it not laughable to accuse her of having trust issues when the man involved couldn’t even be trusted? People who think like you have robbed marriages and relationships off their God made beauty. I don’t even know why am replying to this trash self, Mtscheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
Na was for how some people do reason o. What sort of comment is this? The most stupid comment i have ever seen.Why blaming the woman for checking her husband phone? Can you please differentiate between wife and girlfriend?
The woman has the right to go through her spouse phone, they got married and is for better for worse, so confront ur hubby and do it with wisdom….
.
Am not in support of her checking her husband phone but doesn’t she have the right to know if her husband has another family abroad. I wonder why we Nigeria women subject ourselves so low that we agree to allowing our husband have us here in Nigeria and also have a white woman abroad. It’s simple if marrying a white woman is the best means for your survival has a man please stay faithful to her. Nigerian men please be real if you are polygamous please don’t hide it. Be true it pays at the end.
What has trust issues got to do with going through her husband’s phone .It’s her husband phone so quit the issue of his phone is his privacy bs.
This can only cum from a selfish man. How can u type dis kind of shit. Is checking his phone the bone of contention here? Haba nija men need to start been sensitive ohh talk and act like human. So if she is d one he is married to, so wat he has his last name wtf is d terrible last name that makes her lucky to b answering it. Wen it happens to ur sis or daughter tell them they should b lucky to have a man’s sure name. Dis is d most heartless comment I Ave read in my life. Do u know d level of betrayal dis is? Do u understand that a family might be broken if dis issue is not handled properly, do u know wat effect it wouldhave on his kids? Pls she needs an advice on how to handle this delicate situation not u coming here to remind her how egocentric and insensitive our nigerian men are.
What hell of privacy are you talking about? How would she have known what the idiot was doing if she didn’t priv into his life?There is no privacy in true love please. Who knows if he is married to the white lady like they always do.No lady desedeserves a man like that.
I tirey for this abroad husband ooh,Chai I detest it, may God help u, but confront ur husband, and call thy lady tell her that ur husband is married, if really she is white she will leave u and ur husband alone because thy don’t tolerate what we tolerate
Confront him jaree though it may not change anything
Sometimes Nigerian men do things like this for sake of money or wen the don’t have a place to lay their head thereby hurting their wife. pls speak up before u die of silent
Hmmm if i were you i would take the ladies No and call her and make her know that the man is married and only fooling her. Then wait your hubby reaction.
two shall become one, even the bible confirms. so going thru your husband’s phone is not wrong
thats not wise o, you will be surprised to hear what the man will say to you for calling the lady and its very certain he lied to the lady that he is single
I don’t see anything bad in using/checking your spouse’s phone. What are you afraid to find? Better you discover yourself and keep your self protected from stds than regret later. Dunno y people view marriage this way. They should be no secrets between married couples except those on agreements. I think u should confront him. No 2 ways abt it as she might not be d only side chick out there. Worry not your head over a man before u die of hbp.
Good advice.
so what are you waiting for please confront him face to face …..y dint u confront him den.what are u waitn fr and wat were u waiting for uptill this time.wats d big deal confronting him.
Lord have mercy
Hmmm
Madam you need to confront him with what you read and saw on his phone. Duplicate everything if need be. Why do you have to be d one to die with heartache when he’s d one cheating on you. Listen to his flimsy excuses. His attitude will determine your next step
Hmmmmmm
We live in a world were women are the ones to endure a man’s bullshit and the shameless idiot will keep living his normal life. I have a question for @kelechi Owen, if it were to be the other round will u say the same thing u commented here? I bet not. They always tell women to be patient, to endure and pray. Am I praying for a cheating man to stop cheating when he knows exactly what he’s doing and will stop when he wants to stop. I can only pray for u when your problem is spiritual or praying for our progress and blessings of God. A man will go out and be messing around with women and his wife will be dying of pain and heartache and u will keep hearing pray and endure. Will I keep enduring till u bring back an old and rickety body for me to take of #the thunder wey go fire you dey do press up# @poster u are really taking time, confront your husband asap and his answer will tell u were u stand in his life. Rubbish
Good one, how I wish I was never born into this part of the world where women are been victimised bcos they refused to keep quiet about their cheating ass of a hubby
What rubbish about not going through your husband’s phone but he can go through your body. The Bible said “they were naked before each other and they were not ashamed”. Anybody who don’t understand this does not know what marriage is. There’s no privacy between husband and wife. Dear poster please talk to your husband and also use prayers to fire every strange woman in his life
Nawao! You shouldn’t have waited for a second b4 confronting him. May Christ Fix your homes!
Men men men, it is high time you stop this silly act, dear confront your husband that too bad of him, try and get the white lady phone, tell her that your husband is legally /happily married to you with kids. White lady dnt’ take shit
You did very well by checking his phone.I don’t know why women in this century are still reasoning like our grandmothers who were afraid of their husbands and their properties.Confront him so he will stop fooling you
You need to be wise, what he did is wrong…sure, but make sure you don’t quarrel with him over it, because he spends most of his time with the lady since he is based over there, if you fight him, believe me…he might decide not to come to Nigeria for a very long time, am talking from experience…
I agree that you should be wise and tread softly. It is a man’s world but mothers are cherished by children of the marriage especially if you carried your cross for your kids’ sake.
It is time to pray and work harder – in your carrer or business. Yes get busy and make legitimate money and plan your children’s future. It is not the end of the world so be happy, prayerful and be patient with him. I assure u that u will laugh last. Goodluck and may God guide and guard your family.
Y suffering in silence you just have to let him know that you are aware of all what his doing then wait and see his reaction
Confront him asap and determine your stand.
what foolishness is this? you can open his private parts but his phone is too private to check? We women are the reasons why our men keep doing this rubbish. why do we act like these men did us a favour by marrying us? both of you took the oath to be faithful and shun all others. he’s broken that oath and you are to scared to confront him??? my dear confront him and decide on your next line of action. poster who said her husband’s phone is too private, that was what sister lagbaja said too till her husband gave her HIV. Better give yourself brain.
Madam pls don’t call that lady but ask ur hubby peacefully nd don’t bother urself., though i known is not that easy but take hearth. it is well.
You woman ,u will have to confront your husband pertaining to what you saw on his phone,his reaction will determined what you will do next,please don’t give yourself any hypertension because of a man,remember ur kids ,God Almighty will keep your home be strong.
Dnt confront d white lady cos u might end up spoiling d whole tin talk wit ur husband 2 knw his reasons he shuld v a gud reason 4 dat
Pray for wisdom and talk to him
Well!I kW dat its going 2be a great shock 4u,but don’t kW hw it is so easy 4women 2put so much trust in a man who idnt wit dem!but!in this case,I think she sud ask d man maturely.else,don’t put him away finally in2 oyinbo’s.though wayever dey hv now can’t last.
first and formost, why did you check his phone? lack of TRUST, he/she who FIND must SEE, and his phone is a personal property, so you have to respect that. Secondly, he is married to you and you have two children for him, meaning you’re his wife and not the “OTHER WOMAN” and you bear his name. Thirdly, think of what you HAVE and NEED not what you WANT, because you already have what you NEED and what you WANT is outside. Mind you, you are at the BARRACK already while the OTHER WOMAN is at the BATTLE GROUND, meaning she might not come home. Lastly, don’t die in silent, comfront your husband and get the TRUE picture of things, and no matter what don’t LEAVE your home for a house, because a bird at hand is worth ten in the wilderness.
…Your husband is a naija man!!! If he was lost in the oyibo woman he won’t come home to you my dear!!! ….this is what guys do for papers, don’t break your home coz of this even though is heartbreaking….keep it in mind you are still the original owner of your hubby…..you can ask him about it but don’t create much tension if not!!! watch your home break……
Your husband is with the oyibo for business reasons….that woman won’t come to naija and neither is her kid……be careful……..its not easy but hey be very very wise…….
You can talk about it with your hubby to ease the pain….but don’t push it too far……..i hope this gets to you!!!!!!!
Don’t listen to anybody saying leave the man……..— does he not perform his duties??? taking care of you and your kids in the best way??? If yes then be wise…….
Don’t go and seek advice from people that will help you scatter your life coz they are so immature…..biko
Try and get the white woman’s name
…..look for her on Facebook and add her as friend. Upload sweet family pictures and tag her to them.. Don’t 4get to confront ur husband… U deserve an explanation from him…the Lord is ur strength.
my fellow woman confront ur husband.what ever he tells u take it and be happy 4d sake of ur kids.Never u call dat white woman, if u truely love ur husband.
Pls Madam dnt call d white lady for any known or unkwon reason about d matter if u love & value ur husband life n biz.Ask him about it n 4give him if he explains. Handle d matter wt maturity n love pls.
in my opinion, I feel you should first of all pray about this and ask God for wisdom on the decisions to take. this issue is a very delicate one, and if you are not calm in handling it, it might not end well. I wouldn’t say you should confront your husband but will advise you to talk to him in a calm way and tell him about what you discovered. it will be so foolish and immature to have anything to do with the white woman. your foremost business is todiscuss with your husband about it. the outcome of the discussion would determine your next move. and I pray that God will intervene in the affairs of your home IJN.
kelechi Owen I rebuke you, forgotten that after marriage they are no longer2 but 1, they can be free with each other’s properties including phones.if your husband can’t go through your phone(kelechi Owen) then you have some skeletons in your cupboard. they shouldn’t be keeping secrets.
and you saying he gave her his name and all that pls girl grow up this is 21st century marriage is more than giving names come to think of it the woman did the most giving. what the man did is wrong between God and man.let’s call a spade a spade. my fellow woman all u need do is confront him about it peacefully don’t die inside it’s not worth it.
It is no big deal. Man is biologically a polygamous being. Take heart and move on.
Madam abeg communicate with your husband and be careful of the your choice of words and not blow his cover cos that woman might be the reason why your Hubby’s stay in the state is secured. Also be careful not to contact the woman in question as your husband might come back a Nigeria a jobless man. Besides, what do you expect from a guy abroad, most of them usually marry over there. Any woman who is ready to marry a guy who lives abroad should always be ready for this kind of thing. Some might be sincere enough to tell you and some may not.
A wise woman builds her home, but the foolish pulls her own down with her own hands. Don’t call the white woman on phone because your husband life might be in danger. Save yourself from more shock and sickness by not going through his phone again until you see positive changes in his life. Above all, pray without season. Tell God about your husband. Your prayers and your character Will change him. After praying through, confront him politely because the deed has been done. “DIALOGUE THEY SAY, HAS NO ALTERNATIVE”. Good luck beloved!
my dear please if you really want to last stop checking your man phone, just pray and ask God to help you on this matter and please be careful so that you may not loss your man for the other woman
Marriage is slowly coming to extinction, supposed to be a beautiful thing but now a full package enslavement without any form of protection especially for our women in Africa (Nigeria )… my dear poster you should address this issue, invite both families yours and his know your stand and what protection you have for your kids . In the cause of thinking u are doing a favour to him and your future for financial gain whereby living a lonely life,still bear in mind that u stand the chance of gain only in old age.. maybe benefiting from your children, when he is tired and weak only then u know u are married. Tell God to heal your heart. ..
Confront him so he knows that you are aware but mind you I am very sure his dalliance with the white woman is not for the sake of love but so that he can get papers or something. It is well with you.
Is so unfortunate Africa women are told to accept infidelity on the part of the man as normal, they even tell us to ignore for the sake of the children. At the end of the day the woman is infected with STD such as HIV, HPV or HBV, death is the result. The whole essence of marriage has been defeated in recent time, cover up is the name of the game. If he can not be faithful, pls think of yourself STD is real!
Start planning to relocate with him after confronting him ie if he’s sorry for what he did. If not start planning your exit from the marriage because there’s a tendency for him to do worse to you.
@kelechi. That’s a dumb thing to say. How does touching her husband’s phone affect their trust for each other? Infact where there is trust there should be no such thing as ‘private’ peopple like u are the reason why there is no longer sanctity in marriage. So the phone is more important than their marriage.? Pls do have a rethink.
My dear, if am to say, I wil advice u To open a Bank account for ur kids, then transfer huge amount of Money frm his Bank account to ur Kids Account. (incase of wat Future wil Hold btw U and Him). After Wch u can now Confront him
Can somebody tell that woman to look for his passport, Visa n return ticket? My dear all of us go DE nija DE soak garri. Y will I even accept to be married to a man who comes back once in a year probably to get me pregnant and go back to Enjoy his life while I’ll be here starving. May God change our mentality. privacy my foot!
Dear Poster please snap ur kids, marriage certificate and all evidence you have and send to the oyibo Jare that is after u confront and tries to act like our Kelechi type of friend who doesn’t know the definition of marriage.