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Dear MIMsters: Should I Continue To Accept Gifts From A Mother-in-law Like Mine?

Dear MIMsters: Should I Continue To Accept Gifts From A Mother-in-law Like Mine?

I dated my huband for 3 years and been married for 11 years now with 3 kids. During courtship, my MIL was very nice to me and always bought me gifts. The problem started when I got pregnant with my first child.

She did not want her son to marry me because I am not from their tribe and not a graduate, but my husband and I went ahead with our marriage plans with his dad and other members of the family. His mother did not attend.

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When I gave birth, she refused to call or visit my baby and I. I called to ask for her forgiveness if I had wronged her in any way. She said she has forgiven me but she will never have anything to do with me or my kids. Whenever my husband has any problem with her or his siblings, she always blames me for it. She would send me text messages filled with insults and curses. She goes as fas as calling my parents. She tells them to warn me to leave her son alone. My parents would beg her and tell me to go to her house to beg her on my knees just for peace to reign.

Since last year, I have neither called nor visited her because whenever I call, she would ask if I am checking to see if she is dead or still alive. When I visit her, she will say I came to show off. So, I decided to avoid her completely. My husband is even in support of my decision.

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Throughout this 11 years of marriage, my MIL has never been to my house, let alone spending the night or eating my food but she will always send presents and food items to me. It’s not that I need them. Last week, she sent me food items again with two ankara materials but this I refused to accept her gifts or even called her to say thank you. I just dumped them somewhere in the house.

Please, I need your advice as I don’t know what to do anymore. Should I continue to accept her presents or should I tell her to stop sending them since she doesn’t want me as her DIL?

 

View Comments (30)
  • hmm how can one b blowing hot & cold @ d same time? she doesn’t want u buy sends gifts to u . abeg ask ur husband afterall he’s a good man, cos hr might not like I to tell d mum out rightly cos it might sound like an insult. its either he tells her himself or u pretend to collect them & don’t use them (even foodstuffs) cos I don’t trust her or ur husband gives you the go ahead to tell her to stop sending stuffs

  • U can still collect the gift but dont make use of them u give it out or trow it away ,dont tell her to stop so as not to aggreviate the whole situatn

  • Pls don’t use any of the things she sends to u cos me no trust the gesture. Why should someone who doesn’t talk to u send u gift? Hmmm be careful and talk to ur hubby.

  • Collecting and disposing it isn’t a good idea to me cos she probably knows you and her son will eat the food so she couldn’t have meant no harm and since you have been collecting it and using it hope you havnt been afflicted? That’s what some1 told me she said”be nice to your inlaws and let your spirit be free towards them so that when they go to any place with my name the person will be asking them what exactly did this lady do to you that you want to destroy her” but when you nurse a grudge when they call your name it will appear cos your spirit is polluted and contaminated! Pls be nice to her and pray for her and victory will be your portion.

  • Collect them and give them out or better still destroy them.
    It’s suspicious joor.

  • Thre’s more to these..Cuz behind every action thre must be a reason,since it wasn’t like that from the start…so think well n think again

  • You should collect the gifts but don’t use them, give them out

  • What does she hav up her sleeves.she sends u gifts regularly.n still doesnt lik u.y is she double sided?
    u should talk to ur hubby abt it n hear his response.mayb he can stop his mum himself

  • Hmmm! Sorry to say but ur MIL is stone hrted sha.Even de birth of dos innocent kids cld not change her attitude towards u.I hope u’ve not bn making use of de previous thngs she’s bn sending o.Dnt reject de gifts bt rather u give dem out. She has an evil agender bt I pray dat her plans will not materialise in Jesus name Amen

  • My dear poster, to avoid any unnecessary wahala for yourself and household, collect the gifts but NEVER you use them or keep in your house. And don’t bother telling DH, cos she is his mother and he might later feel she’s trying to make up for lost time and you are rejecting her which could cause a rift between you two. Just be wise please.

  • If l were u,l would have nothing to do with her.U are lucky ur hubby even supports u.11 yrs is too long to bear such hatred.Even if she doesn’t like u at least it shouldn’t be transferred to her grandchildren.Pls return those things,thank her n tell her politely that u don’t need those things.Stand ur ground even if she breathes fire.Finally,don’t relent in prayers

  • PLS CONTINUE TO SHOW HER LOVE. BUT FOR THE GIFTS PLEASE BE VERY VERY CAREFUL FOR THOSE GIFTS MAY NOT JUST BE ORDINARY GIFT.

  • Collect the gift, but don’t make use them even the food stuff, if she can not visit u what about her grandchildren……be careful, be respectful to her & prayerful too

  • Pls don’t accept or use those items…She’s nt a gud woman…Who knws her intentions, and pls be prayerful bcs I no understand dat woman ooh.

  • Try to be careful, collect but don’t use them , give whatever she brings out , something is fishing

  • U can still collect the gift but don’t make use of them, just give it out, God will protect you and your family

  • Collect the gifts and throw them away.As for me,I’ll tell her to stop sending..shikena

  • Ask your husband afterall he’s a very good person, cos he might not like to tell his mum out rightly cos it might sound like an adult.Collect those gifts and don’t use them, cos I don’t trust her

  • My dear u just have to be very careful with her because i smell rat.

  • I am thinking the gift may not come directly from ur MIL, probably someone is sending the the gift in ur MIL name so as to unite. U can pressurise ur hubby abt it.

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