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Dear MIMsters: I Have Made a Decision About My Baby’s Father Who’s Avoiding His Responsibilities

Dear MIMsters: I Have Made a Decision About My Baby’s Father Who’s Avoiding His Responsibilities

I once posted my story on this platform on how my husband abandoned our new born baby and I with his mum in the village for one year and never bothered to find out how we are doing.

I have left his home town Nnewi for Abuja with my baby. Since I left, he has never asked after his daughter to know how she is doing.

Now that she will be starting school, I called him severally but he never picked my calls nor reply my messages. I sent him a text that I’ll be enrolling her in school next month and should send money for her school fees and feeding and he never replied.

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My worry is that after suffering to raise and train my daughter alone, I don’t want this man to come and claim her as his tomorrow. I have decided to change her surname to my father’s name when I enrol her in school.

I have informed his  younger brother and his uncle about my decision and they are both not happy with him since he doesn’t even pick anyone’s calls. I have been told to go ahead and do as I please.

I want to also lay a report at a police station for future reference so he won’t be able to claim any rights. I just want to know, will I be doing the right thing?

View Comments (6)
  • What if that man becomes rich and influential in future and now comes for the child will u now change the surname again from what the girl is already used to? My dear let her bear her fathers name just let her know how irresponsible he was to her

  • Yes you are doing the right thing. Let’s start saying no to sperm donors please. It takes two to make a baby, so why allow only one party care for the child? Then after all the struggles he will come tomorrow and want to claim the child rubbish.

  • And who says he doesn’t have money now?.. He’s not ready to take responsiblity…. Do you think when he’s rich he’ll take responsiblity then?… Move on…. Focus on your baby girl…. Change her surname if you want to….GOD help you!

  • May God guide you , the name doesn’t matter much, she can still have the name of the father but importantly, support your girl, she will grow and understand herself the whole issue. Just like a mother, the father will always remain a father, you can’t change that.

  • My fellow woman, not changing her surname or changing it will not change anything. Years later the father will come back, ask for forgiveness and also ask other people to beg u, then u forgive him nd then he’s able to lay claim to his daughter again. The truth is no matter what happens he’s still the father. So focus on taking care of ur child with all u at got without changing her name. If he comes back fine and if he doesn’t fine but they’ll always come back

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