Talented Nigerian film actor, Akin Lewis is no doubt a force to reckon with when the Nigerian acting industry is pointed at.
That the first and second marriage of the top director and producer packed up a few years back, due to irreconcilable differences is no longer news.
What many don’t know is that the tall and handsome actor who is also a Corporate Executive has remarried after he parted ways with the mother of his 3 children.
During a chat with Punch, Lewis shares some of his life experiences, how his first and second marriage failed, finding true happiness in his third marriage and many more.
Lewis and third wife
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See excerpts below…
In your early days when you wanted to choose a wife, were there girls that schemed to be Mrs. Lewis?
The one I ended up marrying got it right because when the others were always there to go to the clubs and parties, when they were too available, she was not. They were always flocking around me because they wanted to be seen as my girlfriends.
The lady I ended up getting married to never did that and even when she showed up, she would just sit down quietly despite the number of girls she saw around with me. That was how I knew she was the one. We got married eventually and she had children for me before the marriage fell apart.
When we got married, I decided to be a faithful husband and I was always taking my wife everywhere, even to joints and that was a bad move. Some friends had to tell me not to move around like that with my wife.
READ ALSO: Second Marriage: Another Chance to Get It Right or a Huge Mistake?
How did you feel when your first marriage broke up?
I felt very bad, it was such a disappointment. We had all sorts of problems and I felt she did not do well but what can I do? If a woman does not want you, there is nothing you can do about it.
Did you not fight to get your ex-wife back?
We tried everything, ranging from counselling, couples therapy, everything. You should know that before a marriage breaks up, it does not start in a day.
The little things that never mattered became big issues. Everyone was brought on board to help us sort our differences out; our church and family also intervened but it just did not work with her because she was the one who quit. We tried reconciling for a year but she called it off.
They say the children bear the brunt during divorce situations…
It is true, it was a very tough period for the children and because of them, I had to make some sacrifices and compromise. They were affected in one way or the other.
For someone who was married for two decades and all of a sudden became single, how were you able to adapt to bachelorhood?
When the marriage failed after so much efforts in trying to patch things up, I advised myself to move on. I got married again; I did not stay in the singles’ market for too long, otherwise I would have become a playboy.
I went into another marriage which also did not work out. Then for the third time, I gave marriage a shot and it is working out fine. I am in my third marriage.
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Some people would have given up on the institution called marriage, why did you keep attempting it?
I don’t know, my wife actually asked me why I was getting married again to her and honestly, I can’t answer that question because I already have children.
Maybe, somehow God wants to use me as an example because I love that sacred union called marriage and I know both parties have to work hard to make it work.
If it works, it helps the children and even those involved. I think maybe God just wants people to know that what had happened does not matter.
Was your wife not scared or sceptical about getting married to you after two failed attempts?
I had to prove myself to her and I talked a lot.
READ ALSO: Veteran Nollywood Actor, Akin Lewis Opens Up On Failed Marriage & More
How did you meet her not to talk of convincing her to marry you?
My wife was a secretary to a friend and I used to have an office space in that same building. Anytime I was less busy, I was always at that my friend’s office.
Besides, we had a jazz bar at the basement of the building, so after work, we always converged on the bar. When I was having all my marital problems, she was there and even heard some of my story while I was discussing with my friend who was her boss.
She observed me and according to her, she always said that I am not as bad as people think I am. The day I eventually asked her out, she refused my offer. But honestly, she is the one that has made me smile again.
Don’t you think that your career probably caused your marital crisis back then?
The truth is that if you work too much, they would call you a workaholic and when you decide not to do anything, the same people would call you a jobless idiot.
The important thing is that before I met them, I was already doing my work; so they came on board knowing the nature of my job. This is what puts food on my table, so you cannot be eating my food and taking my money only to turn around to say that I work too much.
How do I reconcile that? I have always created time for my family and I cherish spending quality time with my family. Most weekends, I am with my family.
When did you encounter the happiest and saddest day of your life?
The happiest day of my life was when I gave up everything I had to become an international evangelist. The saddest was when I discovered some things they do in church that ought not to be, so I quit.
So at a point in your life, you were an evangelist?
Yes, I am a trained and ordained evangelist who went on missions.
What led to your call from God?
I have always been a Christian but at a point, I met with a group of people who really showed me the scripture. I was baptised but I felt it in my heart to do more for God. At that time, I was a controller in a bank.
How do you relate with your female fans?
I always run from women. We can hang out but when it is getting personal or sexual, then I take a bow and leave. If I had to sleep with every woman that had approached me since I started this work, I probably would be dead by now.
At this level, my wife is more like my companion, we talk and she gives me sound advice. At a particular age, I was not interested in advice but to just jump into the car and head to the club.
I have always run away from women, I mean I literally run from them. We can be friends but when it is becoming something else, I run.
How come you never had a child out of wedlock?
My time was different and the girls were brought up better than the ladies of these days. Those were the days when you had to woo a girl. You had to write poems and love letters.
These days, you don’t need to woo any girl, just look at her and she would follow you. This is something that I have seen. In our generation, you rarely saw people have children out of wedlock.
There were a few cases but 80 per cent of us waited to get married before having children.
For someone whose father was a professional, an engineer, how come he allowed you to start acting at a tender age but frowned upon your decision to make it a life time career?
When I was growing up, I did some acting and it was my father that was taking me everywhere. He would buy me books, including comics.
I think he did all that so that I could broaden my horizon but I caught the acting bug early in life. During that period, I just felt like acting was what I was meant to do and I kept at it.
By the time I was in secondary school at Lagelu Grammar School, Ibadan, I knew what I wanted to become in life and that was the period we fought. Everybody wanted me to become an accountant because the banks were still very good.
When you say you had a fallout with your father over your career choice, what specifically do you mean?
We actually just had a man to man talk. Everybody used to be afraid of my father because he was a giant. He had a lot of apprentices and street boys who were always willing to do his bidding.
My father’s word was final on that street that we lived in; so for me to have flouted his orders meant I must have crossed the Rubicon.
It was more of an interrogation than a talk and after I was persistent that acting was what I wanted to do, he said I could not do it in his house.
That was the fallout. He was very angry and because I was his favourite child, he was very disappointed. That’s how I went into apprenticeship with a drama group which was led by Professor Bode Sowande of the University of Ibadan. That is how it all started. I thank God that I became a star before my father died.
You said you were your father’s favourite, is that why you hardly talk about your mother?
I was very close to my mother and I look like her facially. I got my body stature from my father. I was very close to my mother but she was the kind that always pushed us to our father so that you could be straightened out.
She was not the kind of mother that would spoil you. I must say that when I wanted to become an actor, she gave me her full support. When I became very popular, they started calling her Mama Why Worry.
Tags: Akin Lewis, Divorcee, Remarrying
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All the best in his third marriage.
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