Dear MIMsters: My Father Has Chosen To Kill My Joy For This Simple Reason

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My father has chosen to kill my joy for this simple reason.

I am my father’s only child though my mom has two other children with my step dad. And even though my dad is stupendously rich, he was never successful with women so we grew up together, alone. It’s always being ‘me & my dad’ against the world. I cannot give much detail about my father because it would make it easy for your readers to decipher who he is; he is that famous.

On the other hand, I really do not have a good relationship with my mom. Though I know her, I have never stayed under the same roof with her since I could tell my left from my right; I grew up with my dad and my paternal grand-mom who has since passed on. Grandma was whom I knew as my mom for a long time before my dad showed me who my mom was. My mom is very married to her husband with their two children and in more ways that one, she’s made me understand that she does not want to have a relationship with me. I have only met my step sister and brother like twice, next to that, I know nothing about them.

I haven’t also been lucky with relationships with men. I am in my mid-30s and I really desire to settle down but men have shown me hell on this side of life. I have been jilted, duped, raped, physically abused, lied to, lied against, embarrassed… name it! Men have been everything but bad to me. Even though my father is very rich and I have unrestricted access to his wealth; I actually manage a couple of his businesses, I have on countless times, humbled myself to get noticed by men but they effortlessly always treated me badly. I remember one whose wedding I was paying for without knowing. Or should I talk about the one I sponsored outside the country to get his Masters degree and who got married to my friend’s younger sister while abroad? Do I talk about the one who wiped my account out? My saving grace with that very one was that I only gave him access to one of my bank accounts and not all; and that only one he had access to, was wiped clean. How about the one who would serve me with slaps like it was a 3-course meal? I also had one whose parents came to meet my father and got dates for our wedding. What happened afterwards? The whole family duped me!

Off to church I went, hoping to get a bro and I ended up with a yet-to-be married young pastor and I thought I had finally found the one but… I am even too embarrassed to recount what I suffered from him. He made me do different humiliating sex styles with him and on Sundays, he would be at the altar preaching and I was to play along with him. Due to my desperation to get married, I willingly played along until the day he asked for a threesome- with two members of the choir. I ran and never looked back.

Then I decided to stay off men.

I attended seminars, workshops, church programmes- just about everything to build up my wounded self-esteem and when I started feeling better, I began to call the shots where men were concerned. I stopped accepting trash from men and I began to see myself as ok.

Then, he walked into my life!

He is everything I need in a man. And I am not bluffing, he is ALL I need in a man but he is five years younger than I am.

We have both been able to talk it through and I know I won’t find it difficult to submit to him. We have been together for 9 months now, and though we’ve had a few misunderstandings, it had never been out of this world kind of issue.

His parents have accepted me, his siblings are very good people to me, I wake up with joy everyday, he has never asked me for sex, he is a Christian- a true child of God, he is gainfully employed, he has a befitting accommodation, he is mobile, he loves me, he respects me, though we are of different tribes; we have no issues about it… but my father?!

My father says it is over his dead body that I would marry a man young enough to be my little brother. He has refused to see that my heart is now filled with joy. He has refused to see that for once, my life seems to be taking shape. My father has refused to put my joy into consideration… I love this guy but my dad wouldn’t bless the union. My father, the one person who has been there for me all my life is the one person who has chosen to take my joy away. I am finished!