Dear MIMsters: How I Almost Ended Up Manless Until This Happened

I graduated at the age of 27 after studying a five year course. As an undergraduate, I had this mentality that my purpose in school was strictly for learning, nothing else, so I never had a boyfriend. Not because I was Holy but I accepted Christ early. I believed that having a boyfriend was a huge sin, a child-like mentality. I was manless.

Immediately after graduation, the common African question was drummed into my ears every second, “when will you get married?” Haba! l went for service and 3 months later, I decided to date someone, at least bring someone home at the end of the service year. This guy was a JW (Jehovah Witnesses) and I’m Catholic, so the mission was aborted.

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I came home after service at 28 while my elder sister was already 30. Ewoh! Before I returned my elder sister had left home with the excuse of going for her Masters. The African bell kept ringing. One of my aunties even travelled all the way from Anambra state to come sing the “get married’ song to me.

I asked her a simple question, “please do you know any shop where husbands are sold so that I can go and buy one?” She stood up and left and I became more withdrawn. I stopped going out, then I clocked the almighty 30, my sister 32 and we were still not married!

Then death struck, mom died. After the burial the Umuada prayed for us and requested a goat from my sister since she is the Ada. Haba! After all the prayers and knowing fully well that we are not married. “Tradition must be observed,” they said.

When we got back to our base, Popsy kept reminding me once in a while that I need to bring home a man. I started avoiding him since we live in the same house. I made sure I gave him his food at the right time and then disappear into my room.

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My sister finished her MSC but remained in Lagos after I gave her an update of what was happening. I kept on praying and asking God if my case has been forgotten. A colleague then introduced me to Eric (not his real name). From the first day we met, we chatted as if we already knew each other. We became friends. He was comfortable and I couldn’t wait for him to propose. I kept on asking God to make it possible.

After one year of been friends, Eric came to my house one January morning during the 21 days fasting (I don’t joke with this program). Wow!!! Finally, I brought a man home. “I know he will propose today,” I said. As we talked, he paused and said, “you are a good girl.”

“Thank you.” I replied.

Why beating about the bush? I thought.

“I would have love to marry you.” Eric said.

See me see wahala, which kind proposing format be this?

“But I don’t want to hurt you.” Eric concluded.

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“How???” I asked. I didn’t know where this was leading us to.

“I am HIV positive he said.”

I became dumb for five minutes. So God still has my case file. In as much as I wanted to get married, I have always asked God not to allow me marry the wrong person. If God can save me, then HE can also give me a husband.

I came out from shells, went back to school to do a postgraduate course and graduated with a good grade. I went to every wedding ceremony I was invited to. I made sure I didn’t skip any. Gave my testimony to friends who are still single and believing God as I am. Prayed more.

I was 33 when my husband came straight to propose to me. This is a guy I have been working in the same organization for close to four years with and he just stood at a corner watching me. My sister got married too and now has two lovely kids.

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Who said God is not faithful? Do not give up. God is too faithful. I wish to encourage all those who are facing some challenges in life to always look up to God. Don’t be in a hurry to jump into any man’s bed. What God can’t do does not exist.

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