American singer-songwriter, actress, author, and television personality, Kelly Clarkson is in the midst of divorce proceedings with music manager, Brandon Blackstock, and opened up on her show about the moment she realized she needed to make that difficult decision.

During the November 30 episode of The Kelly Clarkson Show, the host sat down (virtually) with fellow mom and colleague, Alicia Keys and Untamed author Glennon Doyle to discuss the “hard parts” of getting divorced.

Clarkson filed for divorce from husband of seven years back in June and has been fairly candid about the topic ever since. The 38-year-old American idol winner and mother-of-two told her guests:

“I’m obviously going through [a divorce] right now…. It’s horrible. There are so many hard parts. The hardest for me is the kids, that’s the hardest for me. I think as women, especially, we’re trained to take it all on and you can deal with it and you’re fine, but it’s your babies you worry about.”

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That’s when Doyle, whose latest book, Untamed, delves into her public divorce, shared her own insight. She said:

“The hardest part is always the kids. We’re trained to believe to avoid at all costs a broken family. One day I was looking at my daughter and I thought, Oh my God, I’m staying in this marriage for her, but would I want this marriage for her? And if I would not want this for her, then why am I modeling bad love and calling that good mothering?”

“We’ve all been trained to believe a good mother is a martyr,” Doyle continued. “I didn’t leave a marriage in spite of being a good mother. I left because I am a good mother.”

This struck a chord with Clarkson who says the part in Doyle’s book about mothers being martyrs opened her eyes about her marriage. Clarkson said:

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“That’s what I needed to see to make a step in my own life. I realized, This isn’t happiness, and we both deserve better.

“Neither one of us would want this for our children. Reading that line so hit home for me, not selfishly but for the family. It’s like, I don’t want this for everyone in this scenario right now.”

Watch the full conversation below.