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Dear MIMsters: Is My Husband the Stingiest Man in the World?

Dear MIMsters: Is My Husband the Stingiest Man in the World?

Is my husband the stingiest man alive?

I have been married for almost two years now have a boy of eleven months and pregnant with my second child.

I am married to a very stingy man who when it comes to taking care of the house and his own child is a problem. He is so stingy to the extent that he doesn’t care about his own child, meanwhile he is an assistant manager in a bank.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I used a public hospital and the hell I went through nearly cost my baby’s life. It was just God who intervened.

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So, he promised that for my second child, he will support me to go to a private clinic for proper attention and care. Now, I am pregnant again and going to the private hospital has become a problem because I am so concerned about my health and that of my unborn baby.

Since I am working and can afford it, I have decided to used a private hospital whether he gives me money or not.

I am writing this because it has become a norm for my husband to be stingy. Getting money from him to maintain our home is hell. He drops a little money and expects me to add up.

What hurts me the most is that he doesn’t give us money for our up keep or whatsoever. When our son is sick and I need money for hospital bills, it is a problem. I just don’t know why he is doing this. I use my money most of the time for the home and buying clothes for my boy. It is not like he doesn’t have the money.

SEE ALSO:Dear MIMsters: I Think I Have Endured Enough and Deserve to Have a Divorce

I want to find out if what I am doing is right. What do I do so he’ll stop treating us this way? I know as a help meet, I can only support him to a certain level. I can’t do everything for him.
Your constructive advice will be useful to me.

 

View Comments (48)
  • Some men will never cease to amaze me! So what does he do with his salary? Maybe you have to sit him down and have a heart to heart talk with him if you haven’t done that already, but if you have; then it’s time to ignore him and take care of yourself, your baby and the unborn child. May the Lord strengthen you. Shalom!

  • Dear am sure he didnt jst start his stingyness now he has always been like that while u both were dating and u felt probably he will change all i have to say is once u make ur demand known to him and he does nothing then ignore him and take care of urself and ur children

  • Like seriously I dnt know what to say, I don’t know whether to even tell u to pray for him or to talk to him cos it looks like he can’t change….pls inform an elderly person he respects in his family, let him talk sense to his head.

  • My dear so men re like dat. He is just a wicked person. Take God u have a job. I really dont knw wat to say jor. Me i fought my hubby oh. He use to b like dat. But will God he is changin. Cos u cant dont alone. Just talk to him. Or get someone to talk to him. Me i got my family involve cos i couldnt take it. It kills d love

  • Your own husband? Even if he won’t give u money, how about the kids u bore for him? Some men tho’ they never cease to amaze me. Dear poster u need to talk to someone he respects much that can in turn talk to him. Stingy to your family? Wjat then do u use your money for? Smh

  • Nawa ooo..if he doesn’t spend on hs family I wonder where the money goes..call family meeting or tell an elderly pesin that he listens too pray as well

  • This should serve as a lesson 2 spinsters.My mum always tells us dat d worst thing dat can happen 2 a woman is 2 marry a stingy man.l’m sure u saw dis while dating but believed he will change after marriage or u made up excuses 4 him.Madam l feel u.Gud thing is u are working or u would have been in hell.My advise-Dnt sit and expect him 2 do things on his own bcs he wont do it.Draw up a list of things u need n give him.Dnt give room 4 excuses n humbly remind him daily till he gives u d money.lf he tells u 2 use ur money,tell him u invested it or anything else.By d time u keep using ur money 2 run d house,he will knw u will do it when u are tired.Most importantly,go on ur knees n report him 2 God.There is nothing prayers cannot do

  • Hw I hate stingy men..! Well, Tank God ur working but even at dat its nt gonna be easy. May God strenghten u dear.

  • The main problem marriages re facing is bcos Women marry men thinking they WILL change,while men marry women thinking they WON’T change! Frm ur story,its lyk u were among those MISS INDEPEDENCE lady,dnt need any guy’s money to fxn,n some guys love d spirit ,I bliv it didn’t strt today,jst sit him down n talk to him CALMLY

  • Hummmm ,I think we women sometimes make the mistake of starting things we can’t complete. I am sure u started spending your cash on him and the home so he now feels u have money and can do without him.
    In any case, dnt u know where he keeps his atm card? My dear, as for this one u have to be strategic and tactful o.u have to make him spend on you and the kids a ba. If u dnt spend his cash he will find some other thing to spend it on.
    Go through his pocket and wallet and take any money u see.mtweeeew. stingy man

  • Teach him a lesson he will never forget and he will change. For example, don’t cook for a while.

  • My dear,tell his family &your family that your hubby doesn’t take care of the home front and that you are tired of doing it alone! They them is for children sake you are complaining &also tell them about the hospital issue, why you won’t want to have your baby where you had the last one,am much both party will beable to talk to him& make him see reason,at least if not for nothing but for the children! Haba he should take care of his children!And anytime you need something ask for more than what you need,so that you can have extra for yourself! That’s how to treat stingy men! Give him that disgrace &he will be force to bring out the money by force! Some people even go as far as reporting him to his oga!pray about it before you call the family meeting!

  • Cassandra u dey vex o!@ poster u appear to me like an independent lady who will want a man to understand u can fix tinz with or without dr help.this attitude can make a woman bossy and d man involved will want to proove dt he is d boss!Am nt ruling out d fact dt sm guys can be really stingy,but ds is at d extreme,talk to him politely abt it,change ur attitude if u are d bossy type,pray to God to intervane.By d way,I hope u ddnt force urself on him?

  • thank God u are doin wel i wil advise u take good care of urself and ur unborn child cos dis kind of man wil not wait for for two weeks if ur enemy die also invite his family memeber tel them everytin if they do nothing or he refuse to listen to them then start saving for the raining one day he wil need ur help financialy then u wil pay back

  • Try talk nd persuade him. Nd if to no avail, Thank God u ar working. just continue to pray nd work towards ow GOD can bless u do more. Nd do all u can for urself nd ur children. Nd ignore wateva can be ignored at home.

  • That H̶̲̥̅̊♡̷̴̬̩̃̊w some ☀̤̣̈̇f this banker husband ☀̤̣̈̇f ours’ behave so stingy when it comes T☀̤̣̈̇ money

  • Most bankers are very stingy some even go to the extent of doing the shopping for the home.tell him your salary has not been paid for some time and you are broke.don’t shoulder his responsibility thats the mistake many women do wen they start earning some income.

  • Hmmmm I agree wit u Ezebor Mercy. Poster mayb u shud involv ur pastor or his family. Its well.

  • My dear,he didnt jst bcom stingy overnyt,u dated him before marriage nd u would have known dis,even if he wasnt like dis den sumthing is wrong somwhere nd i can only pray dat God gives u d grace to tolerate him

  • I tot there is some kind of organisation that handles things like this nd note,a man. Who can’t care for u when u re dating can’t do so after marriage

  • r u sure he dosnt v a mistress dat he pay more attntion rather dan his family? b smart n find out, cos man stingy but no be 4 e pikin. n quit prenancy now.

  • Hmm, this is very heart breakiing even in ur condition. Stop using ur money to do anything in d house, if he ask u tell him ur family had some financial challenge. Always keep ready made excusses to give him immediately he ask u about how u spent ur money.

  • Stingy even up to the life and health of his family – Pity.
    Please ma go ahead and take good care of yourself, just try your best and never compromise the health of your family for anything because of his stinginess.

  • Pls u now know his real character pls try and give birth to d number if children u can take care of cos ur husband dont take care of his responsibility u can do a family planning after ur baby’s born.

  • it’s very alarming that some men always be like that. thanks my goodness that you’re working n it’s a sound warnings to women who solely dependent on their husband housewives. beware. talk to him n persuade him he’s your husband not boyfriend. I had for once had such as boyfriend, I have to discard him on time before it’s too late. God’s Ur strength

  • Hmmmm. I am living with one.
    He does not give house keeping money. He does not care abt wat de kids wear but will show off with them when I dress them up. He pays no water bills. He will buy power only when he is de only person at home and it run out which happens few times.
    He wont mind dressing himself up neatly and his kid following him shabily. I simply ignore him and concentrate on myself and de kids. It hurts him when i gnore him but de nxt minute he is gone bavk to dat life.

  • thank God u have a job.inform ur families so they know incase of tomorrow. Whether he gives or not,go ahead and look after ur self and baby

  • Na waooo!Madam stop spending money on things dat will b beneficial 2 him. Make ur list on monthly basis n give him,then u keep pestering him. Make sure u inflate d prices,since he gives u little n tells u 2 add up. Poster u just have 2 change by being demanding,after all u r his wife. Tell him u use ur money 2 take care of urself,so he should bring money for u 2 buy things for his kids. May God give u d wisdom 2 handle this. Some men r 2 tricky n stingy for my liking,they just want 2 render their wives penniless.

  • I don’t know if this is the behaviour of bankers. My Sister in law complains about her own husband that he is too stingy. It got so bad that she left the house. Na wa ooo!

  • Single ladies please watch out for stingy traits in your fiance, not necessarily rich but he has to be the giving type it does not mean you are being materialistic, you only want a man that’s caring, so as to avoid stories that touch like this.

  • Start taking care of urself and ur son like never before….make a list and show him his responsibility….by the time u go to his office and expose him that might serve him better,but he can can imprenant u…..stingy to the extend of being stingy to his son….gush….this is pure Aradite hand….Tufiakwa

  • Dear, if u continue to cater for these responsibilities without addressing it I am afraid he won’t change… Do take care of yourself and ur kid as u can and still talk to him about it….

  • He is stingy because he knows you. have money. Pls stop supplementing for him. Firstly, anytime you need money for anything, write a list of everything needed, cost every item and total it. If he gives you N20 for a list of N1000, tick what you can buy on the list and show him. If he refuses to give you more, go ahead and buy what you have ticked and don’t EVER add your money. If it’s a food list, cook with whatever you have bought and when it’s finished tell him to give you the remaining money. Serve him food with to meat and eat the same thing too. Do the same thing with your baby list.
    Start doing contribution at work with your salary so that you won’t have much left afte paying every month. You also need savings since he is also saving his salary.
    This man is not spending his money because he knows you have and you are too kind. When you’ve used almost all your salary for contribution then you will be forced to worry him and bet me if he sees that you are desperate he will bring out money.

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