‘I’m Pregnant…and So Is My Daughter’- Mum Shares Amazing Story

By PAMELA BERNER

My oldest daughter Morgan and I might be twenty five years apart but we have a deep bond. Our relationship has always been interesting, to say the least. We can disagree AND agree about music, clothing, piercings and tattoos – for example, she knows that I don’t like her tattoo, but she also knows that I understand her and love her and my opinions on her body art choices don’t get in the way of that.

Her father and I divorced a few years back and I am now happily remarried and adjusting to this new period in my life. Last fall, Morgan moved in with her boyfriend and was exploring adulthood on her own, but apparently the universe decided our relationship needed a push in a new direction.

In November, we both found out we were pregnant. What’s more, we have nearly the same due date.

Pause, deep breath. Deep breath again.

How would you react? I couldn’t believe it. My husband and I had been trying for about six months but we began thinking it wasn’t going to happen for us, we are kinda old. However, a few weeks after my husband took me on a romantic trip to Paris, I picked up a pregnancy test and it quickly showed a positive result. I set it on the desk next to my husband and he was overwhelmed. After all these years of waiting to have a child, he was finally going to be a dad.

But not only was he going to be a dad, he was going to be grandpa too! Because two days later, Morgan sent me a text.

“We need to talk.”

“Are you pregnant?”

“How did you know?”

How do moms know these things? I met Morgan and her boyfriend after work and she told me that she was pregnant (and to add a twist, our due dates are only 3 days apart). It turns out, I am going to be a new mom and a new grandma at the same time.

While she told me she was pregnant, I initially held back my own big news. Given my “elevated age” of 45, my husband and I had decided to keep the pregnancy under wraps until we confirmed that baby and I were doing well, so the next couple weeks were really challenging.

Like any good mother, I listened to Morgan talk about being pregnant, the struggles of morning sickness, cravings, being scared, exhaustion, body changes; I was sympathetic but also dying to blurt out, “Yes I know honey, I feel everything too, only I am OLD and pregnant!”

After my first appointment and confirmation from the doctor that things were good, we told the kids. I was unsure how Morgan or her siblings would respond — as this would be my fifth child and their step-dad’s first.  But much to my relief, they were all very excited about a new baby brother or sister.

My heart melted when Morgan later sent me a text saying, “You know, mom, I am really glad I am going through this for the first time with you.”

Even though we didn’t plan this, what could have torn us apart is instead bringing us a deeper understanding of each other. And I am so glad that I can be there for her in such a unique way.

As we share this amazing experience together, our normal arguments are getting fewer and farther apart. Instead, we feel like teammates: we compare our bodies, her tight, toned, never-been-stretched belly and my older, stretchmark-coated, and significantly softer belly. We both crave protein, and are hungry all the time. She had morning sickness; I dodged that bullet and just feel tired instead. We’ve even been discussing baby names lately (although by “discussing,” I really mean Morgan immediately told me the names I couldn’t have because they were on her list.)

It makes me happy that she is so at ease talking about everything with me, and I can see it helps her and makes her feel more comfortable to know that I am having the same feelings as her.

The other day, she told me that she thinks the doctor gets frustrated with her for not asking more questions.  “Why don’t you?” I responded. (I know I had a lot when I was pregnant with her.) “I don’t have any, I ask you all my questions, especially the embarrassing ones!” She even told that she wants me to be there when she delivers, because I am the only one who can “handle her” when things are out of her control.

As a mom, I am desperate to be there for her, to help her, to share the excitement, pain, and joy of pregnancy and giving birth. I get the late night texts asking me questions: When do you feel your baby move? What time do you take your pre-natals? Can you eat lunch meat? Where do we need to go when I am in labor? Since I’m pregnant too, I think she feels we can relate to each other more, and my answers to her questions aren’t dating back to memories of her birth.

There are also ways that she’s made the experience more special for me. At 45, with four kids already, it’s easy for me to get caught up in my everyday responsibilities. Besides work, I’m helping my second apply to college and countdown to her graduation. I’m working with my third to get her driver’s license and plan her Sweet 16 party. My fourth (and only son) is hitting puberty and dealing with the transition to middle school. With all these exciting (and sometimes stressful) things going on around me, there are still moments when I lay down in bed and daydream about my baby – but they are rare.

Then I get a text from Morgan, “Are you taking belly pictures every week?”  Uh, no. Sorry fifth child! But Morgan’s excitement for her first baby is contagious, and it encourages me to see every aspect of the experience like it’s my first time all over again.

This entire experience has been such a joy. My husband and I get to become parents and grandparents together. Morgan and I are reaching a new level of closeness and I’m so thankful that I’ve been given the chance to see our relationship grow (along with our bellies). She is no longer a child, and we’re starting a new phase in our lives where we share a bond as adults, as women, and as mothers.

Some day soon, our kids will play together, and maybe even go to school together. Family dinners, always crowded and full of love, will include two new high chairs.

While I’m not advising you and your daughter get pregnant at the same time (there are definitely bumps in the road), it is often the unplanned that can cause the most beautiful growth in a relationship.

And yes, we are wearing the same jeans in the picture.

Source: babble