One of the most common reasons many couples are struggling with their sex life is because, “We have kids. It’s hard to find the time or energy to get in the mood.”
There are lots of ways having children hampers your sex life. For one, many couples just don’t have the kind of time to dedicate toward each other that they used to have. Less time for dates and romance usually means less desire for sex. Second, after a long day of chauffeuring children around, cleaning up after them, making sure they have their homework done, teeth brushed, and they’re off to bed at a decent time, you just don’t feel in the mood for sex.
So, what are some things you can do to keep your sex life rockin’ after children come knockin? Find five quick tips:
1. Make time for the two of you
You have a calendar for your family so you don’t forget all the activities for your children, important birthdays, and other appointments. When was the last time you saw something on that calendar for you and your spouse? Your relationship is as much a priority as your children’s activities. Put it on your calendar, and don’t move it.
2. Reassure your spouse of your affection for her
Your body changes as you age. As a result, your spouse may not feel as attractive as she did before kids. When your spouse doesn’t feel sexy, he doesn’t feel as excited for sex. Reassuring your spouse of your affection for him helps him to feel loved, cared for, and attractive.
3. Redefine foreplay
With children around, you don’t have as much private time in the bedroom. Don’t waste the private time you do have on foreplay. Foreplay doesn’t have to be physical. Sending each other sexy text messages throughout the day, naughty notes in each other’s lunch boxes, and erotic emails are just as effective as physical foreplay.
4. Get creative
With children around, sex can’t be as spontaneous as it used to be. There’s a greater risk of being interrupted. Instead of waiting until all the conditions are right (which might take a long time), get creative about where and when to do it. Sex can still be connecting and romantic at creative times and places.
5. Too tired is not a good reason
After the kids are finally in bed, you’re so exhausted that the last thing on your mind is sex. When your spouse makes an advance, you end up having a whole conversation about why you’re not in the mood and how upset you are that he would even think about sex after the kind of day you just had. Just think, you probably could have had sex and skipped the fight you just had. Besides, there are few things that help you sleep better than snuggling up with your spouse after a connecting night of sex.
All couples’ lives change after having kids. But, the quality of your sex life doesn’t have to. These are just five quick tips on how you can keep your sex life rockin’ after children come knockin’. There are many more ways you can create intimacy, spark and passion in and out of the bedroom so you can still have a rockin’ sex life. Discover them!