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Dear MIM Readers: How can I live with the thought that my husband is attracted to my friend?

Dear MIM Readers: How can I live with the thought that my husband is attracted to my friend?

Hubby and I were invited to a friend’s get together over the weekend. It was a small intimate but very classy party with a handful of guest, basically couples. Everyone knew everyone. Among the guest was a very close friend of mine who was the only one who came to the party without her husband.

My husband had not eaten the whole day for some reasons. He got hooked on the wine that he was offered and before long, he was drunk. While the ladies were in the living room, the men where out on the verandah talking, jesting and drinking. I went to fetch some food for my husband since I knew he had had very little to eat. As I stepped out on the verandah to give my husband his food, I overheard him telling the other men that he is attracted to my friend – she’s the only guest who showed up without her husband.

Words cannot describe how I felt hearing this. She is my very close friend for goodness sakes. Which means that all the time she comes to see me, he’s been ogling at her. I wished I could break one of those empty bottles on his head. What would you if you were in my shoes? How would you respond to this?

Should I get back at him by telling him that I am also attracted to a friend of his too? Please advice me.

View Comments (24)
  • Confront him in a polite manner. If you’re the I -don’t- care type when it comes to dressing, this is the perfect time for you to work on yourself. Drop sentiment aside and try to study what your friend do that makes your husband to be attracted to her so as to know whether you imbibe such or not. Mind you,your friend may not know your husband is attracted to her so don’t go fighting her. It’s well

  • Madam I sincerely understand how you feel but getting back at him will be a little bit extreme. He just said it but that doesn’t mean the lady share same thought or feelings with him. Its only natural to be attracted to some1 or crush on them but hell is let loosed when the feeling is mutual and you feel cheated! So since he is just fantasising allow him & pretend you dint hear anything. Also try and keep that your friend under watch to know if she share some special feeling towards your hubby or its just on a casual basis.

  • Just get a perfect time ad ask him jokingly y he do stares at ur frnd,or better still knw Wats so special in ur frnd dat makes ur hubby like her ad see if u can do dat to get him off her

  • According to u,he was drunk..So if I were in your shoes,l would give him the benefit of doubt(except he has given me reasons to think otherwise).l would confront him when he is sober and thereafter watch both of them closely

  • Confront him Kai what rubbish. Or haven’t u see married man been attracted to a married woman? Hold on hope u re not on a fat side n ur friend is slim,nice looking? But dat doesn’t justify anything though. Let him know u overheard him gossiping or shuld I say it’s cause he’s drunk? Please just do the rite tin b4 it’s late

  • Confront him face to face now, he’s your husband and not your father. If he is stupid enough to admit it before you, then find a way to get back at him.

  • If I you, I won’t break my marriage bc of what was said under d influence of alcohol. U said the men were jesting&drinking probably being mischievous, do u know what others said b4 u came in? Pls pretend u did not hear anything then study him when they meet, or “JOKINGLY” ask him.moreover it was mere attraction not hitting on her, am sure even as a married woman, you’ve seen one hunk u were attracted to that doesn’t mean a thing. Its when you start fantasing or trying to impress anor guy that u should be wary #MyTwoCents

  • It wasn’t your husband speaking but alcohol, all the same politely bring it to his notice that u overheard him.

  • There’s nothing wrong in a married man admiring a single lady. The fact that he’s married doesn’t mean that he’s blind and can’t see good things anymore. Just watch ur hussy wt wisdom. Don’t even imagine confronting him o. Keep an eye on him, that’s all!

  • me i dont hide feelings ooo,i wil ask him,i wil infact tell him how i heard it,let him say what he has in mind for her

  • Infact I just wonder wat women wil do to please their husband, poster pls u can let him know dat u are awear of his feeling towards your friend and I tink wit dat he wil feel insecure to make any move and he wil know that u are monitoring him also

  • Attraction is not love. Although ur hubby is wrong but u don’t need to pay him back in his own coin. What will u gain? Just rub it on ur body as cream , ask him if u will he’ll only tell u what u want to hear. Play ur roll in ur home and let God take control of the rest. Men matter tire me

  • Confront him abt it later but do not tell him u’re attracted to his frnd. It is well

  • He is unreasonable to even voice it out to his friends. Datz so wrong, besides such thoughts are things you keep to yourself. Abeg ask him jor but not in an angry manner, cuz if u don’t confront him, u just wouldn’t take it off ur mind

  • Tell him one of the ladies in the party heard and spread the gist among the ladies and that made you a laughing stock. Ask him why would he embarrass you like this in public in front of your friends. Tell if that if you heard u would have been hurt but handled it better but now it’s public and u are being looked down on and mocked. Cry very well. Make him feel guilty. Tell him that are begging him not to embarrass and disrespect not just you but also himself and your marriage in public again. After acting all dramatic and crying, don’t abuse him o.. just act like the victim, forgive him and move on. But push the burden of guilt on him. Men act silly at times. Don’t drag it for too long.. and don’t be shouting , just be acting down around the house, when he asks you what’s wrong, then start crying and act this drama.

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