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DEAR MIM: Should I Marry This Man Who Can’t Get It Up?

DEAR MIM: Should I Marry This Man Who Can’t Get It Up?

I’m a single lady in my late twenties. I met this guy close to 6 years ago and played hard to get for 2 years but he remained consistent, so, I finally gave in.

Initially, I was worried because he’s a Muslim while I’m a Christian, and I knew my family will never want to hear of that. Besides, I had just graduated then and he was still an undergraduate with years ahead. However, his persistence and sweet nature made me overlook the seeming flaws and our relationship kicked off.

He told me from the start that he wanted marriage so he could wait for as long as I wanted to have sex. I had no qualms with that at first until last year when I told him I was ready for it. He agreed and we did but I noticed that despite all the romance and all, it took so long for him to have an erection, and even in d process, the ‘thing’ was
still falling.

I thought in my mind that it might be anxiety. So I let it be. We didn’t do it again until this year and things were pretty much the same. The third time we did it, it got even worse; as in nothing at all. I had to ask him what the problem was. Questions like; Was it anxiety? How long has it been going on? He told me it has for a year and I told him I noticed it the first time we made out, so it must be longer than that.

I asked what he has done about it. To my surprise, he said nothing. I hid my shock and asked why and he told me it’s because he feels it’s something that will resolve with time, adding that he doesn’t need any drugs and has not told anyone about it.
I persuaded him to get help and he promised to and later told me he has sought help and is now on medication. However, I’m yet to see any improvement whatsoever; it’s the same as always. I’m confused! What should I do? Please help.

View Comments (25)
  • Bia Miss poster are ok? How do u think dt dis marriage will work? Cn u cope with their religion? Haba they will use u ad make suya.

  • God in heaven just want to deliver u from d foolishness of marrying someone wt an opposite belief. U wld hv suffered a lot in d future…. Go and give a thanksgiving offering to God in ur church.

  • He is not telling you the truth. He has a problem he doesn’t want to tell you about. I would advice you both go and find help for him together that’s if u still want to be with him. All the best.

  • Hmm mm, just walk out if no improvement because when u eventually get married, my sister it can be frustrating oooh

  • How can you even think of some one that you don’t share the same faith with? You are had better retrace your steps.

  • This is dicey, i think tht his problem has been there since,maybe he has been shy to see a doctor. u ve to ask urself if this is something u can live with or not

  • Please quit that relationship..He’s a Muslim and your parents won’t welcome him as a son inlaw so why waist your time and energy..plus erectile dysfunction babe jump and pass.

  • My sister. Follow him to d hospital different from d one he had been o. The results of the text and d extent of d damage will enable u to mk a decision. He has erectile dysfunction. It can be treated if detected on time. Pls secure ur future.

  • This is not an easy thing, my dear if you cannot carry this cross you better quit, but if you can, stand by him firmly

  • In d first place, d issue of your different religious belief is there so you need to put dat into consideration. Then I think he’s not been truthful with you concerning d state of his health. I guess he knew all d while and dats why he didn’t pester you for sex for almost 3years. Well as for me I don’t think I’ll go into dat marriage so I’ll suggest you follow your heart. May d Lord give you wisdom to do the right thing

  • I pity some people here,hypocrite!!!what’s wrong in marrying from another faith…my Dear getting married to a man whose thing can’t stay longer is a no go area,cos it will affect your marriage,I have seen cases where the woman ends up sleeping with men outside,if u love him find a way to help him

  • Marriage is all abt sex and that is that
    Every other thing in marriage revolves around it …children trust intimacy happiness just name it
    pls pls pls don’t do it

  • Marriage is serious business u hv to ask your self these questions. Are u willing to convert to islam? Do u speak the same language, are u of the same tribe ? U graduated before him is he financially stable to take care of u? What does sex mean to you do u hv a high libido? If you marriage isnt blessed with children will you still be happy . Your answers will determine you next move.

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