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Dear MIM: My Wife’s Mother Is Pushing Her To Cheat On Me

Dear MIM: My Wife’s Mother Is Pushing Her To Cheat On Me

I have a problem with my wife.

My wife (24) and I wedded three years ago and God blessed us with a baby girl. As a husband and father, I have been trying my best to see that we lack nothing in the house. I even helped my wife to get admission into the university.

What is bothering me is that I found out that anytime I leave for work, my wife sees it as an opportunity to mess around with me. Precisely on December 31 last year, I saw her chat with a man on WhatsApp. I confronted my wife about it who initially lie but later confessed that the man has once taken her out. She also confessed that she had once visited her ex boy friend twice but swore with the Bible and with her life that she never had sex with any of them.

Now, she is crying and begging me to forgive her and promising not to do this again. When I asked her why she’s doing this, she told me that her mother pushed her to do it. She said her mother always tells her that since she got married, her financial status has not changed and she does not assist them. This is regardless of the fact that my wife is a student and not a salary earner.

To say the truth, her mother never supported our marriage. She kept telling my wife, ”I told you not to but you wouldn’t listen”. So she said she was trying to play along so she could get some money to take care of herslf and her mother so that she will not think that she is suffering in my house. She said that she thought of how she sees me struggling to pay her fees, our daughter and mine and so found it difficult to always ask me.

Since that December, we have not known peace in our house because I am seriously thinking of divorcing her soon. Please I need your advice.

View Comments (24)
  • Hmmmmmm, since she have swore with her life that she didn’t have sex with any of them plz I know is not that easy just try to let her know ow you feel and wait if she ready to change or not. #myopinion#

  • Pls forgive her. Let her promise you that she will never have anything to do with those guys again and lets see if she will truly change for d better. The fact is a woman does not need an extra marital affair to provide for her parents. She can decide to do business if truly she doesn’t want to ask you to give her parents. Let me just allow sleeping dogs lie so I don’t aggravate the problem. Give her one last chance to prove herself at least for d sake of d lil Angel dat God has blessed you with. Tell your wife to totally cut off from those guys. She should change her number sef if need be

  • Haba Bros, it’s too early na. She is still learning n very young. This is why marriage is meant for mature minds. I v been through that stage n all I do now is regret but my bf forgave me, stood by me n supported me n 6 years later is my fiance. Try n help her mature in her sense of reasoning else just as her mum convinced her, any body out there can. Ejo O don’t leave her as she is remorseful. #Myopinion#

    • Truth be told, marriage is for the matured minds and needs time to work things out. I work 4weeks a way from home and return to spend 2weeks at home. In our first year of marriage, my wife keeps checking he ex bf pics on facebook. I found out and confronted her if she loves him. she said no. we had issue about her talking to her ex on phone or he checking up on her. she didn’t see any issue with that as she said nothing was wrong. two years after, she now knows better. marriage seminar, church and other Christian groups on whatsapp. If I wasn’t matured about this at that time we would have headed out of the marriage. We now laugh at her ignorance then. #marriageisindeedformatureminds

  • So she just went to see the faces of those men and they gave her money?Pleeaasse! So if her mum tells her to put her hand in fire she would do that?Is the mum not aware you are sponsoring her daughter’s education and running the home at the same time?
    For her to tell you those lies it means she doesn’t respect you enough to be honest and she thinks you are too stupid to know the difference.I would advise you forgive her but let her know you won’t let your forgiveness become foolishness.Give her a second chance.If she is a wise woman she will call herself to order

  • Pls try and forgive, I know it’s hard but try. Her mother is influencing her negatively

  • Please and please dont divorce her just yet rather call the mum attention to it and let her know she isnt doing her daughter any good. Please also pray that God grant you wisdom because this more serious than we think.

  • Mister you wife loves you to even tell you the truth,I think she’s under pressure from her mother,don’t blame her you know you are still young in the marriage so she’ll always listen to mummy,orient her don’t divorce her

  • Hmmmm, pls forgive her and monitor her, but she messed up, going to see another man cos of the pressure from her mother, she should watch it, cos her mum may ruin her marriage. one more thing FORGIVE her

  • love is patient, you need to make your marriage work oo, if not for anyone but because of yourmother in law. Forgive her, try and empower her financially so she can assist you too. marriage is about committement

  • Forgive her but try to make her understand that she can only assist her mum within her means besides was she taking care of her parents before u married her? Make sure u break the unnecessary bond btw she n her mom so she can focus on building her own family… Things will improve once she is tru wit sch then she can support u n extend enof help to her family as much

  • Forgive her,sir . the bible says: woe to a man who is alone, if he is cold, there will be no one to warm him, if he falls no one to pick him up. The good thing is DAT she has you, pls help pick her up as she has fallen short in marriage, pls I say once again. No marriage wants to work. We are the one DAT makes it work, by exhibiting Gods kind of love . love is kind, it is patient, and so on

  • bros u have to forgive her,divorce is not the best we all are likely to make mistake but cos u want us marriage to work forgive n give her second chance

  • Those of you shouting forgive forgive I want you all to be honest with yourselves.Have any of you ever live with the thought that your girlfriend is seeing someone else?A wife dat is courageous enough to see someone behind you…I will advice you to go and do a DNA on your child if you have any because you might be sitting on a time bomb!gud luck.

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