Dear MIMers: “Who Killed Our Baby?”
We were expecting our second baby. My wife is working, and at the same time running a post graduate full time degree. I didn’t think it was a good idea to do all three at the same time. But she argued that it would enable her get a promotion at work fast.
She was admitted twice for bedrest due to heavy bleeding. It would start and then stop. It was a high risk pregnancy. When she was five months gone when her final exams started. Since working and studying full time seemed to be very stressful for the pregnancy, I suggested she defers and write the exam the following year but she didn’t listen. She’s so stubborn.
When I was driving her to school one day to write an exam, she complained that she could feel herself bleeding. I told her that I was going to turn the car around and head to the hospital. She said no and insisted on writing her exam first. An argument started and before I knew it she had opened the door of the car, gotten out and started walking to school.
See drama as I managed to park the car in the middle of this huge Lagos traffic and pleaded with her to get back into the car. It was a scene for passers by. She later agreed and I drove her to school. I dropped her and waited, shoving aside my own work for that day.
Not long after, and shortly before my wife started her exam, one of her course mates ran downstairs to tell me that my wife was bleeding heavily and needed to be taken to the hospital. I rushed upstairs to get her. She couldn’t even walk. Took her to the hospital immediately. To cut the story short, she lost the baby.
I was pained but became disturbed when my wife started telling people that, “they killed my baby.” I asked her, “who killed your baby?” She would reply, “evil people, bad people.”
Am I missing something here? Is she going crazy or this is an attempt to run away from taking responsibility for her actions? If you ask me, I would say it is all her fault but I didn’t tell her that. But what I won’t deal with is her pushing the blame on others but herself. Please tell me, who killed our baby?
There’s no use placing blame here. You already know the answer to your question. I am sure she knows she’s at fault too. Please next time, stand your ground until she does your bidding. I don’t pray u loose another pregnancy.
Hmmmm… Its well.
Hei, this is so sad
Hmmmmm the deed has already be done, so let move ahead
Apportioning blames now doesn’t solve anything. From what you’re saying you have a very sturbon woman a wife. The two of you should talk things over and know how to manage this next time.
You already know d answer to your question. So pls be strong. You will have to sit your wife down and have a serious talk with her. God will soon bless you with another baby and she need to understand dat her health and dat of the unborn child comes first. It’s good to pursue career but not at d detriment of some important things. God bless you for being so understanding
Nobody killed your baby but stress n please console her now at this trying time than looking for who to blame
It’s well
Be with her n console her and please try as a man you are to put her in order…. she’s a stubborn type n requires a strong man to handle her to avoid making further mistakes. Be a man n handle her d way she’s supposed to be handled. No beating please
Healing process starts by taking responsibility for our actions.The next time she puts the blame on evil people,tell her you don’t think so.Explain to her the circumstances surrounding the loss of that baby,the stress,her stubbornness and all.Who knows if the baby could have been saved had you taken her to the hospital when the bleeding started.That way she won’t blame anyone(at least not to your hearing)and she will obey you next time.You both have learnt your lessons.When next you have a concern over anything in your marriage,sit madam down and express your worries and fears.Even if she doesn’t agree with you,trust me she will give it a thought.Could be she was stubborn because of the way you approached the matter.Sorry for your loss.God will bless your family again.
no body killed d baby
hmmmmm, good comments I see here, ur question has been answered
U know
Hmmmmmmm
Nobody killed your baby, her stubbornness did. However I think the pressure she was under must have affected her adversely. Please talk to her calmly and convince her to see a psychologist. It will really help.
Nobody killed your baby, her stubbornness did. However I think the pressure she was under must have affected her adversely. Please talk to her calmly and convince her to see a psychologist. It will really help. Sorry for the loss.