Dear MIMsters: Did I Do Wrong By Paying Hubby This Surprise Visit?
It is with great pain that I’m writing this at this odd hour.
Hubby and I have being married for about two years and we are still Trying To Conceive. We work and live in separate towns. I’ve being applying for transfer to go and join hubby, but it has not been forthcoming because there’s a new helmsman at my agency who has suspended pending transfers.
Each time I visit hubby, it’s always a case of one lady or the other. I got to know this through his phone messages. And because of that, he passworded his phone. Each time I confront him, he denies it even with proofs!
He can go on for 2 to 3 weeks without calling me, and when I make efforts to call, he may decide not to pick. I decided to pay him a surprise visit one day without previous notice. I arrived late, entered the compound and saw hubby’s car at home. The lights and air-conditioning in the rooms were on.
I knocked on the door but there was no response. Then I called hubby’s phone. He answered and I told him to come and open the door. He told me he was not in town, that he went to a neighboring town to visit his sister. I called his sister to confirm and she told me hubby was not with them. I kept banging on the door until it attracted the attention of the neighbors.
Later, his colleagues came for me that hubby called them to offer me an accommodation. I refused to follow them. An elderly couple who lives next door accommodated me for the night. I know hubby was at home, probably with someone. Meanwhile he told the sister to lie to me that he was with them. But the sister confided in me that he was not with them. I’m tired of hubby’s cheating attitude! Meanwhile this morning the elderly couple that accommodated me phoned him that he should come down to the house from wherever he is that his wife is around. After about two (2) hours, he appeared from God knows where. We later went to our apartment. The first thing that greeted my sight was a lady’s panties together with my hubby’s boxers hanging on the clothline in the bathroom. When I confronted hubby, he replied that since the pant is not mine, the owner will come for it.
Did I done wrong by paying him a surprise visit?
But y are men this callous Na? Ur own wife?
Some women they try. See disrespect abeg. It is not enough that he is cheating, he is disrespecting you also chai. I see you are still interested in the marriage so I will answer your question. No it is not wrong to pay him a surprise visit.
Chai! Men and cheating. May God help women. My dear u didn’t do any wrong visiting him. God just used that visit to expose him for the cheat that he is.
Sorry sis, you dont have a husband yet. What you have is a boyfriend.
The earlier you face the reality starring at you in the face the better for you. It’s very obvious that some men are not ready for marriage and commitment in the first place before jumping into it. They would rather eat their cakes and still have it. My dear lady the decision is purely yours. It’ll hurt for a while but hold on to God and in due season He’ll send you a true and real man who will truly love you for you.This one is a lost cause if you ask me!?
This is what am going through, the women will pick up his phone and call me.. He will tell den nasty things about me. My problem is when he is around, he is so attached to the kids 4 of dem and they love him.. If his not around he can stay for weeks without asking about them.. They are too young to understand anything for the sake of this my angels that is y am still there.. Also for my mum’s sake considering dat one of my sister faced battering from her marriage and is out. So am standing by.. But my advise is for you to do what you are doing best, even if you work your transfer he will not treat you any better..
Hmmm so many sisters out there face same problem as yours, I was there nd to tell you the truth it wasn’t easy. I stayed at my job nd did a lot of kneeling. Dear it hurt but there’s no impossible case with GOD. If God brought de two of you together, He sure will restore your home. Don’t give de devil a place. Fight for your home. The Lord strengthen you.
My dear no all you cam to save your marriage. If it does not work quit. Marriage is not heaven and you can divorce when your partner cheats. You don’t even have a child yet. He does not respect you. Some men cheat but would apologize or show remorse but not this one. Have a heart to heart talk with him. Ask him if it’s something you are not doing and prayerfully fight for your marriage. But my dear when you realize you have done your best and nothing is working and you can’t take it leave. Sometimes it’s for the best before he infects you with HIV
Pls how can i send a message as anonymous to MIM
this is so disrespectful haba…y are men like this
Madam let that guy be before he infects you with a deadly disease.
This is the height of disrespect. This man prefers whoever was inside with him to you. If he had an iota of respect for you, he would have sent that lady out and apologize to you. Maybe you’ve not conceived because God is protecting you. Thank God you didn’t quit your job because as far as I’m concerned, you are still very single. Marriage is not a do or die affair. Life is too short to live in sadness and emotional management.
Leave my dear….leave. This man will not change….transfer or not. he doesn’t even respect you!
It is well, that man is not your husband and please leave now you can do
if i were you, i consider myself single and move on with my life. he doesn’t worth dying for my dear. get a life and never think about him. Thank God there is no child yet. what again do you need as a prove you are not his priority?
Its not that easy advising someone to just leave their marriage. In as much as he hurts her, they will have their good times which am sure She relishes.
My advice? Try and do everything else that makes you happy. Concentrate on your job because its gonna be worse if you for any reason quit or get sacked. As for diseases? Advice and talk to him nicely, a bit of subtle emotional blackmail. These things are not easy especially if you are a real Christian but the Love of God will see us through all things.