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Dear MIM Readers: I built my marriage on lies and deceit…..

Dear MIM Readers: I built my marriage on lies and deceit…..

I am a 27 and I regret building my marriage on lies and deceit.
Hubby and I met years ago and started out as friends, then he travelled abroad. I lied to and deceived him from day one. I even mistakenly got pregnant for a married man. When he came back to Nigeria, I made him believe it was his but later aborted the pregnancy. He trusted me and believed everything I told him.
We got married last year and planned to relocate abroad. Three months ago, I decided to confess it all to him. I started by pleading for his forgiveness, told him about the pregnancy, and told him that I am still in love with my childhood love. I told him that I only married him because I needed an accommodation since my wicked brother’s wife threw my sisters and I out of their house. I told him my family will hold him responsible if anything happens to me because they didn’t consent to our marriage as he’a from another tribe. By the time I finished my confession, he wept for hours.
I am telling this story now because I am consumed with guilt and concerned that I have built my marriage on a shaky foundation of lies and deceit. I should not bring children into it. 2. I also feel for for him. He didn’t deserve all I did to him and I feel he should know the truth and move on to find his wife. 3. I thought my childhood love will take me back when we saw again after so many years and wanted to be single to receive him, but he told me he has a girlfriend he loves so much. I also felt that if I die now, I will go to hell fire but if I confess it all and ask for his forgiveness and truly repent, God will forgive me and I will make heaven.
Please advice me. Should I remain in a marriage built on lies and deceit? Or should I leave him to move on with his life? He has a very good heart.
View Comments (34)
  • Has he forgiven u n accepted to be wt u no matter de situation? If yes den plz stay wt him n pray over evrytin since u said he has a good hrt but my dear men re nt God day o forgv n forget at same tym so tink abt everytin n hv a talk wt him b4 deciding on de nxt step to take. #myopinion

  • I don’t want to abuse you but thank God d scales has fallen from your happy too d other guy dumped you cos you would have left him for anor childhood friend.if ds ur husband dumps you; bear it after all you caused it but if he accepts you out of love; it wl b in your best interest to love, cherish, respect& b faithful to him cos it’s not easy to meet a man like pple will say use ur tongue to count ur teeth, d ball is in ur court

  • Hmmmm poor man.He deserves a good woman.I’m jst wondering how u sleep at nite with all these bottled up.I think u shd confess n brace up 4 d consequences

  • If he forgives u and want u still, u will make it up to him for the rest of ur life… What u did was so uncalled for.

  • If he agree to forgive u n wnts u back. Pls stay. And give u life to God totally. Let him see a new you.

  • You can remain in the marriage if he forgives and accepts you, despite the confession. You truly broke his heart, for him to weep. You deserve to be caned.!!!

  • You are truly a wicked and selfish woman if it was a man that used another woman like this we would all be crying foul…she dosnt sound repentant she is only looking for a solution that will satisfy her after getting rejected by her ex…

  • nawa for u o,ure a disgrace to womanhood! Its ur type dat turn gud men to beast..pray God help nd strengthen hm to forgive u..dnt do anytn just prayafuly await hs decision

  • Just pray and forgive yourself 1st so dat the forgiveness u seek will come to u. Its hard but u have to seek cleansing from God so u can live freely the remaining days of ur life. Stay in ur marriage and make amends for good.

  • Dear poster: I will not insult or blame you. Most times the devil will always want to destroy our beautiful future and hence make us do things that we are not supposed to do. For your childhood friend to have gotten another girl means that you guys separated. Please move on with your life with your husband. Your hubby is a good man with a good heart. Plead for forgiveness and move on with him. Build your marriage on Christ’s solid rock and you will see how perfect your life will be. Pray always and bind that demon that is always taking you back to your ex. I pray your hubby will forgive you. It’s well

  • If he forgives you, fine. Repent and live an upright life, but be ready to dance to the beat you’v started playing. Forget if he loves u,he’ll never trust u agn afterall you just told him you dont love him. But if he sends you packing, im sorry.


  • Welll since you’ve confessed to him if he want you guys to be together why not stay with him..Pray for God’s forgiveness.

  • @poster. True repentance is what matters. If genuine repentant nd he forgives u in love all u need do is to forgive urself nd stay. Then turn to God for real nd seek him in spirit n in truth. Change they say is a constant thing so change for good. Try nd forgive ur self ok. Our God is faithful n just to cleanse all our sins. Love ur husband, respect n honour him. All the best.

  • Pls stay n be a good wife to ur hubby. U ran bck to ur former swthrt bt he already has sum1 else. We dnt knw de value of wat we’ve got untill we loose it.Be wise!

  • Dear i will advice u leave bcos he will surely use ur past against u even if he tells u he has forgiven u.#myopinion

  • Now I can saying something. If you know he has truly forgiven you then please remain with him but be rest assured one day he might snap and use it against you but when that day comes, please don’t blame him, he’s only been human. Like you said he has a good heart and since you don’t deserve him, work to earn his trust once again. God bless your marriage.

  • Since you have made amends then go on go on with life and make it up to him with a change of lifestyle

  • You confessed because you wanted your husband to dump you so that you will go back to your old sweetheart but when you found out he is involved with another girl you are confused.
    You need to kneel down and cry to God to forgive you. I pray your husband forgives you too. You are married to a wonderful man that you don’t care for. You want him back for the same selfish reason for marrying him because you have no other option and nowhere to go.
    Why don’t you just leave this man so that he can find a good woman that truly loves him to marry. Obviously, you’ve not changed and you will still dump him for someone else.

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