7 Ways to Stop Micromanaging Your Kids

To Micromanage a person, means you control every part and detail of that person. A child void of any mental, physical or psychological hindrances being raised in such a manner can grow up exhibiting or living out all the fears you have had for so long. Even a child with all the factors above, should be given a certain amount of freedom and space to experience the world that they find themselves in. Accepting also, that this is borne out of love for your child, below are some ways to stop micromanaging your children.

1. Recognize the Signs

The first step to changing your micromanaging reflex is to recognize the things you’re doing that are completely unnecessary or overbearing. E.g you don’t let your children play outside because you the floor isn’t tiled in your estate, you secretly re-do your child’s homework, you follow your toddler around endlessly to make sure they don’t hurt themselves. Relax, breathe and allow the child make a few mistakes. Everybody learns from making mistakes, even children.

2. Focus on the Positives

Do not spend your time thinking of every scary thing that could possibly happen. If you do this you will unconsciously be raising a child who lives in fear. Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on aspects of new opportunities for your child and try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

3. Detach Worrying From Love

Christie Barnes, author of The Paranoid Parents Guide, recognizes that some parent’s controlling behavior comes from a place of love, and as a result, they just need new ways express affection. “There’s almost a feeling that if you’re not worrying enough, there must be something wrong with you. Worrying gets mistaken for love,” Barnes explains.

4. Avoid Labels

“I need to get involved because my son is shy” or “I need to get involved because my child isn’t good at math“. This is already giving you an excuse to continue micromanaging. Take a step back to evaluate what your actually needs and not just make assumptions based on the category you’ve determined to fit them in.

5. Physically Remove Yourself

An easy way to learn how often you get involved is to physically remain farther away from your child. It’s alright to be present as long as you stay quiet and give them attention only when they truly need it and not for every minor problem.

6. Find the Source

It’s possible that you are trying to mak up for things that happened to you during your childhood, or are acting out of fear of not being able to protect them. Whatever the reason, you need to figure out what’s fueling your overbearing tendencies and control it.

7. Do Less

Learn to accept some free time. Instead of feeling the need to constantly hover, allow yourself to relax or focus on something else as your child explores unstructured play. This will help you distinguish the difference between your need to be involved or control and what your child actually needs from you.