Dear MIMsters: She’s a Fine Woman But I’m Having Second Thoughts About Marrying Her

I have been going out with one fine woman for almost four years now and we are set to marry in October 2018. She is currently doing her national service and I would like her to complete it and get a job first before we get married. I am hoping she is maintained in the company where she is doing her service.

What I have seen is even though she stands a chance to be maintained, she doesn’t really like the job. It is an insurance job and she tells me the job makes her vulnerable. So I asked her in the unlikely event she’s not maintained, what would she like to do? Her response was she doesn’t know. This is a 29-year-old woman who is a graduate.

But the most pressing issue is that since we started our relationship, she has been robbed 4 times.

The first was her phone was stolen in a taxi. The second was her purse was picked. The third was her hand bag containing vital items like her company phone, her personal phone, her I.D cards and a substantial amount of money was taken from her. Through her narration of how the third incident happened, I realised she wasn’t serious.

Now, the fourth one happened yesterday. I had tried to reach her on phone but her line didn’t go through. She later called me through her mum’s line that her new company phone which was replaced after the old one was snatched with her hand bag was missing. I didn’t even bother to ask how come because I know she would not give me an accurate report.

My worry now is will this her lack of security consciousness have an effect on our marriage? Are these repetitive incidents a message to me to be more vigilant?

I know she loves me and I also love her but should I just consider the love alone or look at the totality of her personality. Please help me out here.