Dear MIMsters: When Will It Be Okay to Tell My Healthy Parents and Siblings ‘No’?
I had my Ordinary National Diploma in 2015 without no support or help of my parents. Mind you, they are both still alive young and healthy but separated. They have been separated for over 15 years. I am 22.
In May 2016 , I struggled to get a place of industrial training so that I could work, earn some income and save some money. I intend to use this money saved to further my studies. I want to go for my higher national diploma in the 2018/2019 academy session.
I often starve and deprive myself of some necessities in order to save enough money.
The issue now is that my mum keeps asking me for money when she knows the money I have is savings for my education. She is not the only one. My older brother and my twin sister also expect handouts from me. her. And this just makes me feel fed up with life.
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Now my mum is looking for money to pay her rent. She has asked me to borrow her N10,000 out of the N50,ooo she needs to pay her rent. Meanwhile before she moved into that apartment, I warned her not to move into that apartment because she’s not working nor trading and will not be able to afford the rents. Did she listen to me?
If I give her that 10k she won’t give me back and she will keep asking me money till all my money is finished.
Now, I am like the enemy of my household members because I have refuse to give them the money. Meanwhile, my elder brother is asking me for an additional N8000 to sort his personal bills when he knows that I am not working.
I know that if I eventually loan my mum the money she’s asking for, I will most likely not get it back. I have only just N97,000 in my account. The pressure is just too much for me too handle and I do not know what to do.
My dear dont let pressure from any one rob you of your life savings. In as much as i agree that we all should help out our family members, it shouldn’t be to our own detriment. You have not made it yet. They should give you time to at least sort out yourself. I am telling you from experience even if u forget you forget yourself and sacrifice your all to them, tomorrow if you do not have they will forge all you did for them and treat you like a trash.
And please stop telling them of your savings.
My dear dont let pressure from any one rob you of your life savings. In as much as i agree that we all should help out our family members, it shouldn’t be to our own detriment. You have not made it yet. They should give you time to at least sort out yourself. I am telling you from experience even if u forget you forget yourself and sacrifice your all to them, tomorrow if you do not have they will forge all you did for them and treat you like a trash.
And please stop telling them of your savings.
Be wise and may God bless your hardwork
Hmmmmnn.follow ur heart
African and our way of life. We believe because we are family, then one is compelled to help even worse off is the entitlement mentality. First off, you are not compelled to give any of them money. Tell your elder brother to go look for a job and sort his personal bills. As for your mom, give her the 10k with a warning that this is the last time she will be getting anything from you as you are saving for your future. God forbid you don’t go to school and don’t have a life tomorrow, they will be the first people to point fingers and also insult you. For your twin, she should get something doing too and not depend on you. Stop giving them money. If they like they tag you wicked do not mind them after all you are not wicked.
You’re complaining that the pressure is too much on you but this is the first time she’s asking you for money. Pls give her the N10,000 for rent and tell her you’ve gone to keep the remaining in a fixed deposit account in a bank and you can only access it when you are going back to school.
I think this will put an end to further demands.
Press Ignore!!!!!! Let them carry their cross, you’re still struggling and cannot shoulder any responsibility for now.
Once u are living in dat same house dat ur mum wanted to pay d rent,i think u can give her d money and be more diplomatic in d way u discuss ur savings with dem and pls start ur admission process on time so as not to finish ur savings on frivolities