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Dear MIMsters: Which of These Options Is Best as I Have Decided to Leave My Violent and Abusive Husband

Dear MIMsters: Which of These Options Is Best as I Have Decided to Leave My Violent and Abusive Husband

I’m a mother of three, 11, 9, and 3 year old respectively.  I’m a Government school teacher and I’m in a dilemma.I have been in a violent and abusive marriage for 11 years. Since I have suffered enough, I have made the ultimate decision to leave.

I really want to leave this marriage but don’t know if my decision is right. I have different ideas and don’t know which would be best.

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Last year, I made international passports for my kids and I but I can’t fund the trip for all of us all at once. I’m thinking of going abroad to Canada first, and then come get my kids in a few years when I will be financially stable. I can leave them with my mum if I have a chance to go. But if possible, I will like to take them along. Who knows, I may be lucky to secure citizenship through help.

The second option is to continue to manage my job, learn a skill, how to bake for example, to add to my job to become more financially stable, then I can leave the marriage with my kids?

The third option is a good friend of mine has helped me secure a job in Dubai, with a monthly pay of about 500k apart from feeding, accommodation, and a free vacation or holiday trip yearly.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do? I’m dying in this marriage and I can’t hold on any longer. As I type this, my hubby has thrown out all my luggage from my room which is his usual habit. It is habitual for him to throw me out of his house anytime we have a minor misunderstanding, even if it’s at midnight.

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Sometimes, he hits me and pushes me out half naked while shouting at the top of his voice that I should pack my things out of his house. He says that I’m shameless not to have left, since he’s been asking me to go but I’ve refused. He says that I’ve been forcing myself to stay in a marriage where I am no longer wanted to the hearing of all our neighbors.

I’m at a crossroad here. Pls help me with the best decision. I’ve taken enough in this marriage.

View Comments (4)
  • Is it possible for you to take your kids along with you to Dubai?,if yes,that would be the 1st best option.For going through all those ordeals,you need to change location so as to ha w a clear head.While over there,you can then make plans to go to Canada with the kids.May God continue to strengthen you

  • Madam, I would advice you pray for God’s guidance & direction, and this should be done somewhere else, not your husbands place. Its obvious he doesn’t want you. All the options are good, but still pray, let God lead you. God knows better.

  • Please go to Dubai fisrt and work for a few months then send for your kids.
    You can work for a few years in Dubai then leave for Canada afterwards with your kids.

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