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Dear MIMsters: We Have A Baby Together But I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore

Dear MIMsters: We Have A Baby Together But I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore

My fiancé and I have a three months old baby together but I do not want to marry him anymore. I am saying this because marrying the father of your child who still wants to marry you might seem like the ideal thing to do.

It all started four years ago when I started dating David. I have been through a lot because of his cheating and beating habit. I’d even quit the relationship many times before. When he cheats and I confront him, he will say I do not know what I’m saying, and when I show him proof, he will get angry because I read his messages and chats.

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I would walk out on him but he would come begging and promising to change. He does change for like a week or two but returns to his dirty acts. He will give excuses like he’s been proposing but I’ve been refusing. Then I got pregnant.

I relocated to be with my mum so she could take care of me. The distance made me believe he was a changed man as he would call, chat on the phone and send money to me. I felt really happy and finally agreed to marry him.

Two months after giving birth, I relocated to be with him to start my own family and to build a home. Nearly a month after that, I found out that he’d been pretending about being a changed person. He’s still a cheat not just with one girl but with many. He even has one permanent girlfriend that was living with him. She left because I was coming, but he still goes to her house.

I confronted him about this and he beat me up and chased my son and I away at midnight. He said I should take my son away and that when he grows up, he will look for his father. I spent that night at a hotel with my son. He started calling and begging me again to return but I refused.

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I returned the next morning to pack my things but he wouldn’t allow me. He’s been trying to impress me by buying me things and saying he will be going to pay my bride price in November. Recently, I went through his phone and saw pictures of naked girls. My son’s picture is on his whatsapp, but when those girls ask him if that is his baby, he will say it is his elder brother’s or elder sister’s baby.

He is even having an affair with two of his neighbours. When we go out in public, he will not carry or touch my baby so no one would know he has a son. I think I’ve had enough. He does not know that I’m no longer interested in getting married to him as I can’t imagine myself being unhappy for the rest of my life or getting a divorce in the future. I have made my decision. I believe I deserve to be happy in life but I need your opinion on this.

View Comments (20)
  • Yes dear you deserve to be happy and the earlier the better. Don’t ever try making the mistake of marrying him cos sorry will be your case at the end so end everything for good and move on with life. There are better days ahead dear.

  • After all the beating you still went ahead to give him a son who he isn’t proud of? Why did you lower your self esteem to this extent? Well it’s not too late to retract your steps cos it’s boldy written on the tabloids, HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU. Move on sweetheart. It would definitely hurt but it’s just for a period. Move on and you will find your sweet knight in the future. Take note, don’t sleep with a man or bear kid for a man just because you want to please him. He won’t appreciate it. Let him find value in you. Wish you the best.

  • Move on wt ur life I bet u he will regret for de rest of his life n neva go bk to him let him go n deal wt oda gurls mtchew sm pple don’t kw wht de hv till de lose it

  • Hmmm, honestly speaking poster it seems you have are still very confused. If after all he did, you still don’t get the gist abi? You wifely duty to a man who has no fear for God and has no value for you.

  • but u no try sha.dat man is a public could u think dt kinda person would change…abeg madam which kain question u dey ask self???are u still in dat house???pls move out.beta days are ahead n u definitely would find a man who would adore u n ur son.u have ur future in ur hands

  • It seems u enjoy d gifts and begging after each round of violence.For four years u endured d violence to the extent of bearing him a child(l’m sure u believed a child will change him)But now you know he will never change,pick up what’s left of your dignity and move on with your life.You deserve a man that will make you happy n God will bring your man to u.Let this woman beater know u can exist comfortably without him

  • Dear poster,if u can’t bear his numerous galfrnds nw dat ure nt yet married,is it wen ure married dat u tink he will make u happy?
    Wat do u have to gain in a promise ad fail relationship?only u can decided hw u want to live ur life.either u want to mak ursef happy by leaving him or marry him ad continue seeing ur rivals text messages ad pictures

  • You are lucky you have not married him. Please move on with your life and the man that deserve you will come

  • Wisdom is profitable to direct
    U would v quit long ago now u are here may God guide u in any decision u will take

  • My Dear you don’t need my advice cos have it all planed out. Unless of course you don’t want your son to have mother, simply part out when he is not home, and never return, don’t create a ceremony so he doesn’t give you and your son death blows….

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