The situations in the past few months have brought many uncertainties in people’s lives leaving many in a state of fear and many others insecure about the future. Many couples are currently living in a suspended present and struggling to figure out the next steps and wondering if tomorrow will bring anything better than the present.
Relationship and life coach, Elizabeth Badejo shares that couples deal with uncertainties in different ways, explaining that while some are risk-takers, others find it extremely hard to cope with changes in their own lives.
Badejo offers 3 practical tips that can help couples confront their uncertainties together. See below.
1. Confront your feelings
In a country where there is no social welfare such as food, shelter, and healthcare provisions for people to meet the basic needs of their families during uncertain times; such a situation can cause severe disunity in many marriages as couples struggle to manage the feelings of insecurity brought about by the changes.
On the other hand, worrying is a common feeling as many people are also worried and anxious about the future but worrying cannot solve your problem and will only drain you emotionally as well as compound the situation. Learning to confront your feelings so that you can both become mindful of all your negative thoughts is important and even if your spouse is still trying to cope, you will be in a better frame of mind to take steps to manage the uncertainties.
2. Capitalise on your strengths
The feeling of uncertainty can suddenly trigger depression and anxiety in your marriage. However, this can be alleviated if you both work hand-in-hand to fight your uncertainties and support each other and not allow the present situation to undermine your strengths.
Life is full of many surprises. Therefore, take a good look around you and think about ways you can make yourself valuable again by doing other things you once enjoyed doing.
Perhaps you are at the verge of losing your job or you and your spouse are self-employed and struggling to get back on your feet again.
You may want to give yourself a new challenge and start a new business in the interim focusing on the essentials such as food, beverages or hospitality as empathy is key at this time.
3. Ask and you shall receive
An adage says, “When you keep silent, you will suffer in silence.” Even though it is a common notion that men often hide their weaknesses from families and friends due to ego or fear of humiliation, women are known to cry out for help.
As you are both in this situation together, it is not the time to contemplate as everyone is affected in one way or the other too and drawing on each other’s strengths for survival. Therefore, do not be ashamed to seek support.
Even though you may have been let down before, this situation is spontaneous, and everyone is looking out for each other, share your feelings with your loved ones and ask for support if you desperately need it.
Even if you or your spouse are in debt, ask your debtor to give you more time. There is no shame in asking, you are only being unreasonable when you do not ask.
Talking to trusted family members and friends can relieve the stress and make your worries seem less daunting than you think in the end.