Dear MIMsters: My Daughter Has Rejected Her Real Father And This Is Why

My daughter has rejected her real father.

I got pregnant at that time, my boyfriend responsible for my pregnancy denied it. I gave birth and his father threatened to destroy me if I ever came close.

His father passed away in December, 2020, he was a very popular man of God in Warri. He returned to Nigeria when his dad was sick and reached out to me. With the permission of my husband, I allowed him to come visit his daughter who is now 10 years old.

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Everyone who knew us back then in school say my daughter looks so much like her father.

My problem is he now wants my daughter to move in with him after his father passed on last year. I allowed my daughter go spend time with him for at most a week, when she came back, she told me things they said when they thought she was sleeping.

His unmarried elder sister asked him to do a DNA test. She said my baby is Igbo trained, that Igbo trained is not good, she hates Igbo people, that they don’t know how to train children. Told him to tell their mum and if my daughter is accepted by their mum, he must bring her to stay live with her, so their  mum will train my daughter.

My girl is very smart and has a good memory. She is 10 in JSS 2 and very intelligent. My hubby, her step father always pushes her to do more, to be the best. When she told me, I was angry but my hubby said I should overlook and wait to see what happens.

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In less than a week after, he reached out to me again, telling me that he wants to come and collect his daughter and is ready to pay any amount my father asks of him. My father has been the one training my  daughter to school. Even when I got married, my dad told my hubby not to worry about my daughter, that he will keep paying her fees and providing all she needs, which he does, even to her toothpaste.

My daughter’s father said that he has told his mum and she wants my baby to move in with them. I was so pissed and I told him to go to hell. He got angry and said everything that my daughter had already told me was said. He said that if I refuse to give my baby to him, he doesn’t care and he will never send money to her again. He said I should tell my daughter that she doesn’t have a father, and he is dashing her to me and my father.

I told him, “thank you, we are not complaining.”

Two days later, he sent me a post on Facebook in which a stepfather was sleeping with his stepdaughter. This made my husband so angry because he has always allowed him into his house whenever he comes.

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I googled mine and sent him a link where a stepmother sold a step-daughter into prostitution. He replied with, “na you know, even God doesn’t trust humans, be trusting your hubby.” I sent him a voice note and insulted the hell out of him.

I want to know if I am doing the right thing here because my daughter said she will never accept him as her father, that my hubby is the father that she knows. Her real father has money and my hubby lost his job during covid 19 last year. I need advice on what to do.