Dear MIMsters: Should I Apologize To My Mum?

I am married with a child. Sometimes in late 2019, my mum pled with me to bring in one of my sisters to ease the burden of feeding on her. She’s no longer with my dad. I wanted to disagree knowing how she treats me out of all her children but I felt that I’ll be able to help in my own little way by sponsoring her training in fashion designing.

We just moved into our own house which is so far from where my shop is, as a matter of fact, they’re in two different states. Initially, when we moved, I didn’t know what to do about my sister’s training because I don’t want her to stop and at the same time, I don’t want to be a bad wife by taking out so much money for transport from the money hubby drops for upkeep. I decided to reduce our spending on feeding, hair, clothing etc so that we can have money for transport.

My mum came over to our house recently and she told my husband that she doesn’t like my sister’s appearance, her hair and her lean looks. Mind you, I always refund to her any money she uses to make her hair and we eat the same food.  The only chore she does is to wash plates and cook. She also sweeps the kitchen and living room only on Saturdays.

We have running water and every other chore is done by me.

My mum said I misused her and started raining all manner of curses and insults on me. I felt hurt after having done so much for her. She even said I look like an old woman despite my young age and that I’m too lazy to take care of myself, that’s why I have put the burden on my sister.

What she doesn’t know is that, the money that was meant for me to look good was channelled into paying N1500 for our transport daily so she won’t stop her training.

When my mum came over, she came to my shop for 2 days and it’s been over 2 months since anyone has brought any clothes for me to sew nor has registered for training which has never been like this. Maybe it’s her or another reason, I really don’t know. I have been praying and fasting with no result.

She even got mad that I linked my sister to my dad when he offered to be sending her money for fabrics needed for her practice (we use a syllabus) because I can’t carry the burden, it takes a lot of money. They lied against me, that I’ve been collecting extra money for fabrics from my dad to buy fabrics for the girl when I haven’t gotten a dime. I called my dad to confirm, he said he never said that, I recorded the call and sent it to my mum on WhatsApp but she said she won’t listen to it.

All what I did was to make life to be better for us. My sisters have been with my mum and none of them have made progress. We’re 5 girls and I’m the 2nd and probably the only one making some progress, though I still have so many unfulfilled dreams.

It was my inability to get a job after my resignation that made me opt for sewing. I was once a Biology teacher in a British school, so when my sister wanted to write jamb, I tutored her and she did well. I was determined to get her admitted this year at all costs and still train her in fashion so that she can be independent.

My elder sister is unmarried and she steals. I’ve caught her stealing my mum’s money severally. She goes to places my mum doesn’t know about and when people see her and report her to me, and I report to my mum, she’ll say didn’t I also steal that wrapper that I’m using as cover cloth at night to sleep from her, that after all it’s not mine. She even stole my husband’s money when he went visiting some months back and despite that, my mum has never treated her the way she treats me.

My mum likes my sisters, all of them but me.

I remember when I was younger, I attempted suicide on several occasions all because of the way she treated me as a child. I’ve been thinking that maybe I should apologize because I got angry when she said those things to my husband and when she said she left my dad because of us, I told her the truth, that she left my dad to be with her lover who now lives in her house and she wanted him to sit in the place of my dad on my wedding day and I declined because he isn’t my father and will never be.

I saw their calls and texts back then even when she was with my dad but I couldn’t say anything even up till now because I don’t want people to talk her down but she’s victimizing me. She cursed me, called me all sorts of names all because I was trying to help. Please what can I do? Should I apologize?