You see, culture is man’s greatest setback in Africa. With all Uncle Akanbi did to Aunty Ranti, when Atinuke was going to get married, aunty was told that she must inform him. This was a man who sent his children away at the ages of 8, 6, and 4 respectively. Atinuke was 6-years old when her father sent them away. This was a father the girl neither saw nor had any contact with for over 20-years. She was 25-years old when she brought her fiancé home and wedding preparations began but my grandparents would not let aunty go ahead without her estranged husband’s consent. 

What culture makes women go through!

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Could you believe that this silly man demanded an apology from my aunty before granting her an audience. Afterwards, he asked to meet the man who wants to marry his ‘daughter’ so that he could size him up. This is a girl he would not recognize if they met on the streets o. Hmm!

Uncle Akanbi delayed meeting the guy for over 6-months. Every time the guy- Abayomi went to his house, he would be told that Uncle had traveled. He probably wanted to frustrate the guy but God so good, he failed at that. When he eventually met him, he gave him an outrageous engagement list for the traditional marriage. Now, Abayomi is a young man from a humble background who was just starting life. Thank God Atinuke was open to him about how her father treated her mother and siblings. Well, aunty codedly gave Abayomi part of the money so he could buy everything on the list.

Uncle also insisted the wedding must take place in his house, and dictated the number of people who could attend. And painfully, he was satisfied to the fullest; just for peace to reign and to fulfill culture. Could you believe that this man did not give aunty or any member of our family out of the engagement items brought for Atinuke’s engagement? He kept it all to himself! Yet, aunty was the one who provided refreshments and even bought all the clothes they both wore for the ceremony.

Next was Damola’s wedding!

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Banking on the fact that this was a male child, and no list would be demanded, plus the fact that it was the girl’s family that would give a date to us, aunty got the date and off she went to tell her ‘husband’ about it. He turned down the date and demanded for an extension. He said he could not afford a party at that time. Aunty proposed to help him with some money if necessary but he called her proud. He said he would never take money from a woman.

Aunty begged Damola’s fiancée, Toro to help us secure an extension from her parents and gratefully, they gave us one. After the 6-months he asked for, aunty went back to give him another date and he asked for the engagement list. When he got it, he told aunty he would attend to it. He also told her everyone who would be going for the engagement party would set off from his house.

Aunty said she just did not want to take chances, so she duplicated the list and bought every item on it with her own money. Next, she got someone who would represent the groom’s family before the bride’s family and gave those items to her to decorate.

On the D-day, we all got to Uncle’s house to meet him playing draught with his friends. He was not even prepared. He said he forgot that there was a function on that day. Oh, how aunty cried! Thank God she did not wait for him but had gone ahead to make everything needed for the occasion ready.

Come and see how we all knelt down to beg him. He told aunty he hadn’t bought any item from the engagement list and aunty, thinking he was a sane man, told him she had. He became angry again, and said aunty disobeyed him. Come and see round 2 of begging. Then, he demanded to check every item bought. We had to unwrap every thing for him to see. My cousins -his children were so embarrassed but kept their cool because of their mom.

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Eventually, after crying and begging, he got up and followed us to the function. He took over the show and kept dragging every one back with his stupid interruptions but we all survived the day.

Wedding over, the children called their mom to a meeting and told her they never want to have anything to do with their father again. They told her to forget tradition and live for her own happiness, for once.

When Damola’s wife put to bed, he called his father to inform him (because my grandparents asked him to) but what did he tell his son? He demanded that the christening must take place in his compound. Of course, Damola called his bluff and christened his daughter in his own home.

Uncle Akanbi told all who cared to listen that aunty Ranti told her son to disobey him. He said he was going to lay a curse on Damola and that was when my aunty woke up from her slumber.

She got him arrested and had him write an undertaking that nothing evil would happen to her children and grandchild. She also demanded that he stayed away from all of them.

When the last child, Ayomide was going to get married, aunty refused to inform their father. All preparations were made without his input and to keep him away from the ceremony, aunty got bouncers and gave them his photos -just in case he tries to show his face there. She also made it a strictly by invitation affair. Of course, he showed up and the bouncers attended to him and the people he brought along with him accordingly. He was given a reception he would ever live to remember!

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Aunty Ranti now travels the world to visit her children and grandchildren who live in different countries outside Ngeria. Her canteen business has expanded into a fast food outlet with branches and she has many people working for her. Aunty has also gone back to school and currently holds a BSc in Business Administration. She also just started dating a widower who is based in the states. My grandparents are still alive, though quite old now. Uncle Akanbi’s mother is dead, his mechanic workshop has since gone into extinction. He has sold one of his two houses so he now lives off his tenants

Obviously, the prophet who told him aunty Ranti has a great future did not lie to him, he only forgot to tell him how to plug himself into that great future.