Dear MIMSters: What Should I Do About This My Husband’s Destructive Lifestyle?

We are a family of five which comprises of my hubby, me, our two sons and 1 daughter. Our children are between the ages of 12 and 6, and sadly, they see their father sell us out with his destructive lifestyle.

My hubby breathes and speaks lies comfortably and I am scared for my children and I.

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Let me give you a few instances.

You know Lagos roads are very bad presently? Well, they cannot be compared to Lagos outskirts’ roads. For example, roads in Ifo Local Government, Ogun State will rival any other bad roads in Nigeria; those roads are TERRIBLE!

So, one day, we had waited at the bus stop for quite a while and we were getting tired when this couple in our area drove past. They are not people we are close to but at that point, I cared less.

Thankfully, the man saw us and called his wife the attention of his wife who was driving to us, and she stopped to help us. We found out that they are such a pleasant couple. They empathized with us for having gone through such stress, especially on a rainy day.

I appreciated them and again, expressed our gratitude for their kindness. Then my hubby said, “These roads are so terrible and they make me spend so much fixing our cars. I had to go park them at my uncle’s house because my mechanics are milking me heavily. It’s just temporary anyway. Once we are done with our building project, we will relocate and then, I can get more cars to compensate my family for all this stress.”

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The couple smiled and faced front while my children and I felt like the ground should just swallow us!

First off, we do not have any car. Secondly, we have no building project we are undertaking; we are tenants.


There was another time he told someone in our area that we would be spending Christmas in Dubai. When the man saw my children and I on the street on Christmas day, he asked if we didn’t go to Dubai again. I just nodded and quickly led my children away from him.

I have pleaded with this man to stop telling lies; I have told him he would land us in trouble one of these days but he keeps telling me that if he does not brag that way, people will continue to look down on us. He thinks living a life of lies is better than making people see our struggles.

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His lies are numerous, how many can I count? Was it when he told the proprietor of my children’s school that he was into oil & gas, and that one made him the chairman at their end of the year’s party, or was it when he asked the youths in our area to submit their CVs so that he could help them get jobs in the company where he works as the general manager?

The truth is, he is just a member of staff there and not the GM.

Was it when he told some of my friends that he gave me some money to go to Dubai to buy goods to sell when in actual fact, I had borrowed the money from a microfinance bank? It was while I was rallying round to pay back the loan that I learned he had lied to my friends.

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Recently, my first son told me that he does not want to go out with his father again because of the lies he tells people. His siblings share the same sentiments and I am at a loss on how to handle this.

Apart from his telling lies, he is a responsible father but this his lifestyle… What do you think I should do?

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