Dear MIMsters: I Can’t Believe That My Husband Has Become Who He Is Now

I feel like I’m trapped in this marriage. I’m 22 years old and I have an eight months old baby girl with my husband who is a 38. We are both based in United kingdom. I cannot believe that my husband has become who he is  now.

It all started when I was in the final year at the University of Benin, UNIBEN. My husband came like an angel of light to me. Even when I had issues at school, he made sure that I never lacked money or any other thing I needed. I fell in love with him despite the age difference between us.

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Along the line, I got pregnant for him. My parents were not happy and they didn’t feel he was the right one for me, especially my mother. She always said, “there is something “snitchy” about this man,” and I thought there was no need for her to discourage me because I was already pregnant.

We hurriedly did our Traditional wedding in December of 2018. February 2019, we relocated to United Kingdom. And from that February till date, my life has been what you would call “living in bondage”.

I realized that I got married to a pretender, in fact, he is a wolf in sheep clothing. My husband never allows me leave the house. There was one day he slapped me when I was pregnant because I visited a next door neighbour without his permission. He doesn’t give me money to run the house. This man would rather go to the grocery store and market to buy things by himself.

I have been wondering how the loving man that I once knew has now turned out to become this stingy and wicked man. Since we got married, this man has never sent money to my parents. He looks for every slight opportunity to abuse me verbally and insults my parents when I try to ask for money. I am the one who always ends apologizing even when I’m not at fault, just for peace to reign.

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He doesn’t give me attention anymore. The only time he is calm is when he’s playing with our little girl and when he wants to sleep with me. On a normal day, he will just go to work, come back home, eat and sleep without saying a word to me.

I couldn’t hold my tears anymore when I saw his chat with a friend of his, telling him that he doesn’t love me anymore. He complained about me that I’m lazy and that he made a mistake marrying a small girl like me who adds no value to his life. He also said that he got me pregnant just to wipe out the shame from him as the first son.

When I read those words, my heart was shattered. I love this man so much that I am having suicide thoughts.

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