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Dear MIMsters: Is It Right Or Wrong To Do This To My Child’s Father Considering These?

Dear MIMsters: Is It Right Or Wrong To Do This To My Child’s Father Considering These?

I need your advice on this one. No insults please.

I was in a relationship with a guy whom I loved so much. We were both working and receiving salaries and contributing monthly to our joint account.

He helped me commit abortion almost every year, but kept preaching he loved me. He’s 2 years older than I am and a serious womaniser. At a point, I got tired and asked where the relationship was leading to. He sincerely said he wasn’t ready for marriage and won’t be in the next five years and I became devastated.

Later, I met a businessman who proposed immediately and I accepted. We started our marriage arrangements almost immediately. My ex then came into the picture and started crying; he said he loved me but was only pretending so I don’t take him for granted and that he requested the abortions because he wasn’t ready to raise a child yet. However, I was already pregnant for this other man who was ready to marry me.

Eventually, the marriage did not hold again due to some issues from my supposed in-laws. They said their senior uncle who was to lead them to my place died during the period. I finally gave birth through CS and they keep pleading that they would come and pay my dowry officially.

Then, I suddenly lost my father. At this time, my supposed husband was out of the country for business and didn’t attend the funeral as our tradition required of him. His father and uncles however came.

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After my dad’s death, my uncles and other family members pressurized that we legalized our marriage but my supposed husband refused to return from his so-called business trip. He just came out of the blues about 2 months ago empty-handed, after 5 long stressful years of waiting for him and moved in with me. I am now the one feeding him, my two siblings, my little niece and our baby.

I go through stress on a daily basis at work, yet he wants sex all night. Since he has not been around for the past five years, I no longer love him. I hate him so much, but our child loves him so much it makes my heart bleed when I see them play together. I am tired of the whole situation and about to ask him to leave my house. Is this the right or wrong thing to do? What else can I do?

View Comments (8)
  • Why will you be shouldering this heavy responsibility for no reason? This guy is not even married to you and you are not only housing him but footing his bills as well. You don’t love him and you are sleeping with him?? If you get pregnant again, what happens?

  • You are not serious,u are just desperate and don’t know that don’t know what u want

  • Why would he move in with you and become your responsibility? Does he not have family members he can stay with? I think you should ask him to leave please for your sanity. He is supposed to be caring for you and your baby and not the other way round. Let him leave before he impregnate you again oh and give you more responsibilities.

  • From your story you don’t practice safe sex. You are shouldering all these responsibilities and still having unprotected sex. What if you take in again. Business men don’t have a steady income however if he is struggling to rise again then give him time. If you make him very comfortable, he’ll be more lazy. Whether or not he will succeed depends on how hardworking he is. Meanwhile do family planning

  • ur ex isn’t an option so dnt t
    return……u Current relationship seems lik a mistake

  • hmmmmmmmmmm
    what are you waiting for?
    it would only end on regrets I can assure you
    you better move on

  • are u dull? how can u keep having sex with a guy and u can’t use a condom, u obviously don’t know what u want, u think the next man will foot ur bills, u better sit up and face ur career and also take care of ur kid, having a child for a man does not mean u shud automatically get married to him, tell him ure no more interested before its too late and b4 he impregnate u again

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