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Dear MIMsters: My Husband Was Forced To Marry Me Instead of His True Love. Now, I’m Like A Househelp In His Mansion

Dear MIMsters: My Husband Was Forced To Marry Me Instead of His True Love. Now, I’m Like A Househelp In His Mansion

My husband wanted to marry a lady he loved so much, but his mother stopped him. She told him to marry me or she would disown him.

This issue took a long time to resolve as it caused problems between my hubby and his mum. The other members of hubby’s family supported him, but due to pressure from his mum, he ended up marrying me. Hubby is wealthy man and the bread winner of his entire family.

My marriage is just four years, but I’m living in hell. I just found out that the lady he wanted to marry is his friend on Facebook and she’s divorced. Hubby always leaves lovely compliments and comments on her photos.

READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: My husband is not good in bed and he knows it

I’m so scared to confront him because he tells me to my face that I’m married to his mother and not to him. When I told his mum what I discovered, my MIL said to me, “You are a woman. Find a way to win your husband back.”

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I have 3 kids with him now and divorce is the last thing on my mind. I love my husband. Please help me my fellow mothers. What should I do? I’m like a house help in a mansion. I’m not enjoying my marriage at all. Please advice me on what to do.

READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: I Love My Daughter But I Don’t Want Her Mother. Is This A Crime?

View Comments (45)
  • dey forced him on u and u accepted cos of d money or wat.i bet if he was poor n wretched u wont accept.anyway dat aside. deres nothing u can do but pray dats all i can say.

  • Hmmm, I hope others learn from this. Try to win his heart with good character and prayers may miracle happen.

  • It’s rili not ur fault but since u knew there was a fellow woman like u you were going to displace, then why did u Marty him? There are two ways to this:its either you work hard to win your hubby back or your hubby ends up divorcing you and go back to his divorced Ex. Commit everything to God

  • You are living in hell yet you dont have plans to leave so what can one possibly do for you in such situation? Madam is either you quit or just deal with it. As for his ex please dont even raise the topic because even according to you he loved the woman and its obvious he still love him and there is nothing you or any body can do about it. So dont incure more anger on yourself by confronting him. Pretend you dint see anything and keep praying to God to touch him and make him accept you someday with his heart.

  • You opened your eyes and married a man who didn’t even hide the fact that he is in love with another woman.To make it more annoying you had the support of only your mother in law as if she is the one you will live with.Now she has told you the truth that you are on your own.Anyway I understand you ‘love’ and married him because of his wealth.Since he doesn’t abuse you and you have kids for him,just get used to the fact that this woman will always be in his life,focus on your kids and pray one day he will for the kids’ sake have a change of heart.

  • It’s a pity dear…deres absolutely nothing you can do abt it. Hold on to God for support and get packaged to fend for urself and ur kid. Empower urself and get busy.

  • Sorry to say if I was the man,you wouldn’t even bear me children talk more of having sex,from what I read you had every chance to backed out of the relationship u nevr did maybe becos of his wealth I can’t say its love cos if its love u would have allow him take his decision,honestly it will be difficult for u to win his heart,your problem is self made,since it has already happen learn to leave with it

  • Since divorce is the last thing on your mind it means you are willing to “fight” for your hubby, and the best way your can do that is on your kness… PRAY mama! God will answer you cos you’re legally married to him.

  • Endure n pray to God to touch his heart.u can’t force a man to love good to him,miracle could happen

  • Madam, God will not help you, am going to be blunt here. You married him cos of his wealth so face the consequences. You forced yourself on a grown man and you are here asking for advice. You are not ready to quit so stay there and enjoy his money. Good you have kids so keep enjoying. He will forever love that lady and might even have kids with her. If his mother dies today, you are out of that house for the right woman. I hate that you have made that man unhappy for the rest of his life living with you. You are selfish

  • Madam, sorry senior house girl. You brought this upon yourself, so face the music. How can an adult be forced into marriage in this generation?? it’s obvious his mom is the only husband you’ve got, you had the incline from day one that this guy isn’t into you but you went ahead. Nurse your wound or get out and get a life.

  • it just a pity, 21st century they arrange marriage 4 u, u open ur korokoro eye and accepted. As ur MIL said win him back, u know him better dn i do, know what he likes and dislikes. GOODLUCK.

  • U created this for yourself madam to be honest with you. U saw fire and you put your head into it why?

  • I think d only way you can win his heart is through your character and d help of God. Be very nice and submissive to him. No matter d insult, just be calm and pray dat God will give you enough patience. Endure and ask God to fill his heart with your own love.

  • Hmmmm dunno how to advice u poster. Just pray to God to give him the heart to learn how to love you

  • My sister, may God help u. U hav to pray very hard so that you will win your hubby heart. Failing to do so, u will be in a hot soup forever.

  • I feel so sorry for you poster,i understand how you feel,the deed has been done,and your hubby is a goodman to have slept with you and make babies with you,just be good to him,and his brothers and sisters,miracle still happen,your kind deeds will win him back to you,if he never liked you,he would not made babies with you,atleast u did not rape him,just continue with the loving and watch wonders unfold.

  • But why did you marry someone clearly in love with someone else. You didnt think of your own happiness then but now you thinking of it. My advice is this Focus on your happiness and the rest will fall in place.

  • He had told you his own so it’s left to u now. Why marry a man who doesn’t love u but cuz of his mother?

  • I must tell you, you made a very big mistake by going into the marriage in d frst plc. Goodbhavior and God intervention else Oyo is your case. Wat were u thinkn?

  • My dear, my father used to say, Never take what doesnt belong to you because you dont know when nemesis will catch up with you. You and that your MIL did wrong

  • You saw this coming, sometimes I just wonder he does not love you but within a space of 4yrs you have had 3kids for him. That was so quick and no love. Take it to the Lord in Prayer he will surely guide you.

  • if ur hubby doesn’t love u, n u knew he doesn’t love u hw come u gave birth for him ? we ladies are sometimes mistakingly. he even told u u got married to hos mum not him n u know for sure dat he loves someone else.there s no way he will love u because he married u because his mother said she will disown him if he don’t marry sorry if i said something wrong

  • May. Ur story turn around for Good like dat of BANI in our favourite indian series named THE PROMISE showing on zee world everyday by 8pm

  • it ur fault because since u no he love someone else u shouldn’t have agreed to his mom proposal at the first place because it not his mom ur going to live with so now u see u are facing the hits inted of u to be enjoying. like my mum use to say it not all that glinter that is gold so keep bearing it.

  • Some women are some women’ source of trouble.You didn’t considered d other lady at all because of selfness.No matter wht u do u can’t make him love.Yours is another example that it is possible for a man to have sex with someone he didn’t love .Prepare ur mind he wil marry his love and have children wit her.It’s better not to take wht belongs to another.I av a prove of wht i just stated.

  • Hmmmm just ask God for His Grace, you have made a costly mistake. It will only take God s intervention to win him back. Bond of genuine love is always a strong one. Perhaps the other woman was frustrated out of her marriage because of the same mistake of yours. Just ask God to forgive you and intervention in your problem. Give your life to Christ and also ask Him to touch your husband. GOOD LUCK DEAR!

  • My dear, what’s done is done. Stop crying over spilt milk. Fave your children. Train them to be the best that they can be. Make sure they reach their full potential in life. Keep the house very well. Make sure that everything at home is perfect. Earn your husbands respect. Get yourself intellectually at par with him. If you can, get a job or start a business. Live and enjoy your life. Good luck and God bless.

  • Sis u made a mistake, truth b said, bt yet another truth is dat there is no mistake dat God cannot correct. Turn to d Lord in sincerity n pray earnestly, forget abt confronting him for now, it won’t help, in d meanwhile get busy developing urself n showing urself an asset in all areas.
    It might b a long wait, cos if u mix garri n sand n bring it to God, it will tak Him tym to separate,bt persistent prayer n dutiful waiting wil bring d desired result wit tym, best wishes

  • Dear Poster, don’t see your marriage to your husband as a mistake but see it as God’s will. If it isn’t HIS will, it wouldn’t have happened not to talk of having kids for him. We all make mistakes but all will be to the Glory of God someday. Turn to God with the whole of your heart. Nobody’s heart is superior to the one who made the heart (God ). Leave all to God, he knows how to handle all our situations. God’s help is on the way

    • Abi ooo, I just tire for all these judgemental posters. As though if you see a good man or woman you wouldn’t want to be with that person. Besides, the other woman he claims to live is divorced, what makes them feel she would not divorce the man if she got married to him.
      Its a shame that the most critical and cynical of us are only that way because they’ve also made similar mistakes.

  • I’ll say the deed has been done. We can’t keep judging you for your mistakes. Just keep loving him and sincerely pray to God for mercies. He who is ever faithful and who said in his words “I hate divorce”, will see you through. Let this experience serve as a deterrent to others.

  • Everybody is saying prayers and fasting and good behaviour and submission.If you like,do these things from now till next year,u shall remain as you are.Just pray your MIL doesn’t die or change her attitude towards you,you are finished.You clearly knew whats up,you open eye enter.The only option is to quit o cos as for pretending,for how long can you look the other way?

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