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Dear MIMsters: How Do I Manage My Father Without Bruising His Ego?

Dear MIMsters: How Do I Manage My Father Without Bruising His Ego?

My father’s house needs renovation and I am willing to finance it but I do not want to end up bruising his ego for these reasons.

My worry is that if I send him the money he has requested for, he may not use it appropriately. He may end up doing a shoddy job and pocketing the rest of the money or might even end up asking me for more.

Please don’t judge me wrong. I don’t trust him due to the past experience we have had, but I do love him.

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I have many other responsibilities and I fear that he may ask me to add more money to this project even after doing my calculations for the total cost.

Okay, so I have decided that I will hold on till I return home in December (I live in another country). When I return, I will then get someone to do the job, buy all the paints and every other thing required by myself. I will also supervise the renovations and leave home when the job is complete.

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My question is: How do I handle this so that I do not offend my dad or crush his ego as a man if he thinks why I’m not giving him the money to run the project by himself. Do you think that my dad will think that I don’t trust him? Or he will think that I am mean?

View Comments (3)
  • I don’t think your dad will think all the above you mentioned. I think it’s safe to pay and supervise the renovations yourself. And if he asks, just tell him you want to handle it so that they won’t cheat him.

  • If your dad is a responsible man, he should appreciate your effort and let his ego be.

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