Dear MIMsters: I Think I Have Endured Enough and Deserve to Have a Divorce

I don’t deserve what I have endured.

When I was dating my hubby, I noticed he had issues with his siblings. He said they ganged up against him and pushed him out of the house because they were no longer getting any money from him.

As at that time, things where really rough for him, so I accommodated and I catered for him with my allowee as a Corper.

In 2014, things started looking bright for him so he proposed and we got married. Note: his siblings came for the wedding as guests. They never sprayed or even dropped any gift.

Early 2015, he said his brothers were coming to spend 2 weeks for a project they are working on. I said no problem, but on a second thought, I wondered how the love came back since they have started seeing changes.

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Since the day they moved in, I have never known no peace in my house. They do anything but leave their dishes for me to wash. They go to my fridge and pot as they like; when I’m in the living room, they switch off the AC and change the TV channel. They drop their plates on the dinning for me to clear also. All these have been going on and my husband didn’t see anything wrong with it.

When I complained, my husband would either shout at me or insult me. Since they moved in, my husband has completely changed. They all sleep out a times.

In June 2015, I got pregnant, and things became tight for him again, he couldn’t fend for the house. My mum and I took up the responsibilities. At a point, my mum told me to move in with her because she could no longer fend for people who were not showing appreciation, so I moved in with her with the permission of my husband.

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In 2016, I put to birth and my mum took up the bills and bought everything a baby would ever need. Note: my in-laws never called to congratulate me.

When I was discharged, I came back home and noticed my husband had become worse. He became even more disrespectful to me, quick to body shame me, belittled any business idea I brought up and above all showed lack of respect for my mum.

A lot really happened but I just kept calm to save my marriage.

Fast forward to Feb 2017, when my baby turned one year old, my husband didn’t buy anything for her. Instead, he spent the whole day with his nephews, took them out and posted pictures on Facebook.

One day, he slept out as usual, I asked him where he was coming from but he just ignored me and went to sleep. I noticed a message popped on his screen and I read it. It was a girl asking for money. He apparently lodged her in a hotel and left her there. I woke him up and showed him the text but he wasn’t remorseful at all.

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In annoyance, I smashed the phone and he started insulting me. I couldn’t hold it any longer, I had to call our Pastors, and we where asked to come over.

Shockingly, they took his side asking why I checked my husband’s phone. I told the Pastors that my husband hasn’t touched me for 2 years now.

My husband told them that when I got back from the hospital, I asked him to go for a test before we resume sex and the Pastors where like, “can you imagine?” why would I tell him to go for a test?

I told them it was because when I got back from the hospital he was always itching and bleeding and I didn’t want to get infected with whatever it was. They said I pushed him out and even went ahead saying, if I leave him today a better/finer woman will come in.

On a Friday morning, I was preparing to go out and my phone rang, I picked and told my friend to call me back that I was busy. My husband just barged into my room and started accusing me of cheating. Before I could say Jack, he threw my things out and started pushing me and my baby out.

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His brothers were in their room, laughing. I told him to pay my mum and I all he owes us before I leave. He started beating me. My baby started crying. My neighbours came to rescue me.

I called my mum and she came. When she saw me bleeding, she cried and started cursing him, saying this is the thank you she gets after all she has done for him. He told us to leave his house and my mum slapped him. She told him to keep all he owes her that God will remember him in anger.

That was how I packed and left. Now my baby is with my mum and am in PH doing a little business. For over a month since this incident happened, neither my husband nor his siblings have called.

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Now I want a divorce but I don’t know where to start from.