Dear MIMsters: How I Found Out We Men Determine The Atmosphere In Our Homes Is Worth Sharing

Thank you, MIM for this platform. Over the years, I have read many stories here- both pleasant and unpleasant to the ears but I have never reacted to any until now. And I am certain that your readers will understand why I chose to write now after they must have read my inspiring story on how we men are the ones who determine the atmosphere in our homes.

The story of the couple brandishing words via your platform – Victor and Susan – brought me out of my shell. You see, I tell my fellow men that women are wonderful. And this is why I say so. Women are incubators. They are graced to multiply whatever you give to them. Treat a woman like a queen, and you can be guaranteed that your reign as a king shall last while you live but treat her like a maid, especially in her own home, and you can be guaranteed that a mad man on the streets will enjoy more peace than you.

Most women are awesome, we men only need to learn to treat them right and we can be assured of getting the best of them at all times.

Let me tell you about my wife, Anike.

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I lost my job exactly three months into my marriage to Anike. Prior to that time, I had a good job and I was a major bread winner in my extended family. With the loss of my job came a lot of finger pointing towards my wife. My family members called her bad luck. My friends advised that I walked out of the marriage before it would claim my life but I ignored all of them.

One day, my wife called me in the middle of the night and the following conversation ensued between us.

Anike: Honey, I am so sorry you lost your job. And I know everyone is accusing me of being bad luck to you. I want you to know that I have not stopped praying for you and I am certain God will answer us soon. However, I need you to know that as long as you do not change, I will stand by you.

Me: Change? How do you mean?

Anike: I remember how you cared for me during our courtship. I remember how you provided for my needs when you had money and I vow to support you with all I have till you will be able to find your feet again.

You see, as at the time we were getting married, Anike had no job but I covered up for her. To give the devil a good tool to convince me, Anike got a job the very week I lost mine. That was also used as a tool to convince me of how evil my wife was but I chose to ignore everyone. Looking back today, I am so grateful to God that I chose that path.

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I was still job hunting when Anike took in, had our first child, took in again and had our second child. I kicked against having a second child but she convinced me otherwise. She said if we did not do what we needed to do once and for all, we may be stranded sometime soon. I am grateful to God that I never rejected my wife’s counsel at all times.

My wife, Anike is an angel and I am glad I did not listen to all the noise from family and friends, especially those who advised me to divorce her.

While Anike worked, and I job hunted, I ensured that I kept the home front running. When our kids started going to school, I would drop them off in the morning, hit the street searching for jobs, return home to do chores and then go to pick them up from school. My wife’s job was time consuming so I was not going to add to her stress. My home was peaceful and we knew how to make do with Anike’s salary without going into debts.

Let me briefly tell you a funny encounter with my mom.

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It was on a week day. Anike had gone to work, I had dropped the kids off at school and was back home doing chores when the door bell rang. I opened and found my mother at the door. I was holding a kitchen napkin and immediately my mom saw me, she burst into tears. She said a neighbour called to tell her that Anike had turned me into a slave in my own home.

Mama: (She spoke to me in our dialect) Olamilekan, my husband. Is this what that evil woman has turned you into?

Me: Maami, which woman are you calling evil?

Mama: Anike of course. So all I heard is true? That you are the one who does the chores at home! Takes the children to school! Brings them back home! Cooks for them! Hmm! Answer me! Oh my God!

You know how dramatic our mothers can be. Well, I did not fail to stand up for my wife so I said to my mother.

Me: Maami, listen to me! You see that woman you called ‘evil’ is the reason my shortcomings as a husband has not been exposed to the world. You see that woman, she is the reason I am still able to send you money every month. I have not had a job in the last five years, yet I live better than most of my mates who have jobs. Anike is an angel I worship and adore because not many women can be so supportive and yet be submissive to their jobless husbands. She is the reason I am still able to meet your demands every time you call for money. Ain’t the children you were told I take to school mine? Your own grandchildren? Isn’t the house you were told I clean mine? Have I ever called to report my wife to you? Did that neighbour tell you how much of a disaster his own wife is to him? Maami, if you know you will not thank Anike on my behalf when she returns home from work, it is better you take your leave now, ma.

The above scenario is one of the countless times I had to put people in their place for my wife’s peace.

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Like I said, whatever you give to a woman would be multiplied unto you. Today, 15 years into our marriage, we can only look back and give praises to God. Through Anike’s help, I started my own business when no job was forthcoming for me and my business has grown so well that she had to quit hers to join me. We also have a third child now and all is well with my marriage. It isn’t that we do not have our challenges, but as the man, through kindness, I have been able to set a peaceful atmosphere in my home and marriage.

My fellow men, if you want to have peace in your home, you have got to sow it.