Marriage is wonderful, but it also takes a lot of work. Think of it as an empty box that you fill up daily, you can’t have in it, what you did not put in it.
The sparks of love and butterflies in the bellies may fade after some years of marriage. Realities and life challenges may be responsible for it.
It is thus important for older couples to continue exploring ways to renew their love and marital vows.
A professor of Counselling at the University of Nsukka, Enugu State and a researcher on marriage and family stability, Ike Ifelunni, says that relationships with the opposite sex as time goes on may encounter some distracting forces such as finances and family responsibilities.
He adds that such can make reduce interest in one another if care not taken and may lead to regret or wanting to stay alone.
An American author, Dan Lieberman, says that love fades over time because it is hard to keep the love hormone; dopamine, going after being in a relationship for a long time. He adds,
“Dopamine gets us interested in each other but it only responds to things that are new or that are possible rather than real. If you are going to stay attached, you’ll have to find a reason beyond the dopamine thrill of the new.”
Get some ideas from Marriage counsellors on re-igniting the spark in your marriage below…
Do a past check
A family and relationship expert, Bisi Adewale, states that couples can renew the spark in their marriage by conducting a past check. Adewale explains,
“They need to go back to doing what they were doing in the past that kept the love going before and identify what brought them to where they are now.”
He further states that mind insulation, which is a major problem in marriages that occurs due to offences and leading to loss of appeal of the partner, needed to be dealt with in the minds of the concerned couples.
Eat out with your partner
Ifelunni recommends occasional outings and eating outs. He says,
“You may have all the money in the world and cook the best meals at home but it is still advisable to occasionally eat out. This helps the couples to meet with friends, new people and see a different aspect of life that can spark up a new relationship.”
Buy valuable gifts
Ifelunni notes, “Buying something of value that you can treasure among yourselves will go a long way. For us in Africa, we may not treasure something like flowers but something as ordinary as airtime shows that you have your partner in mind and at heart. This can ignite the love.”