10 Parenting Styles of African Parents That Have Robbed Us (Part Two)

Continued from Part One

6. Raising Overly Dependent Daughters

It is no secret that African culture acknowledges a boy has the best type of child to have. This age long appreciation of the boy child came at a price- it is the negligence of the overall development of the girl child.

Many African families sent their sons to school, but never the girls because they believed she was not meant to aspire and would eventually belong to a man, her economic value was so limited in their mind, that there was no need investing in her future.

The result is that many girls grew up suppressing their voice and capabilities, so they would be likable and not be deemed strong by men who could potentially marry them.

The result is girls chasing after men and rushing into marriage, the ultimate success for them as determined by their ancestors.

READ ALSO: 15 Keys to Boost Your Child’s Self-Confidence (Part Two)

7. Interfering In Their Child’s Marriage

African parents especially the mothers need to mind their business and let young people live by their standards. For one, many African mothers stayed long in their marriages, but that is no proof of any quality in the marriages.

Their children saw all of that and want none of it, but African parents will not stop checking in to make sure they are still in ‘control’. Truth is bitter but African dads like their female counterparts are guilty, just the dads will never be as  guilty as the entitled mother-in-laws.

African parents need to quit and resist the wild urge to haunt their children forever.

8. Not Talking With Their Children

Typical African parents never see the need to converse with their children. They talk to everyone but their child, they are so good at ‘catching them young’, striking fear into the hearts of their kids from a very tender age.

This stance to a large degree explains why and how African children were successfully preyed on by peadophiles right under their parents watch, because kids could not chat or play with their parents and the peadophiles knew it.

African parents need to stop restraining their kids from growing into expressive, balanced adults.

9. Forcing Choice Of Spouse

African parents display a lot of determination over who they will ‘allow’ their kids to marry. It does not matter if the one to marry is in their 30’s or older. They will make you realise that they will be very fundamental in your eventual choice of a spouse.

As you plan your wedding, they will be extremely vocal about who will officiate or serve as the ‘Guest of Honour’; when you eventually are married, they will attempt to run your home if you allow them.

It does not count much if you are unhappy by all that, so long as they get their way; they will ‘love’ you.

READ ALSO: Are You Becoming an Abusive Parent? Check These Warning Signs

10. Comparing Their Child To Others

African parents are experts at reminding their children of failures and mistakes. They also think comparing their child with his or her more successful mates is a type of motivation.

They will lay your life’s timeline bare in front of you, skip your little successes and show you your cousins and neighbour’s children who have brighter prospects than you in life.

African parents sure need to put a lid on that toxicity.

 

No matter what happens, we will always love our African parents, they just need to confront the consequences of their parenting choices and hear us too.