Nigerian Couples Reminisce On How Marriage Changed Their Lives
Marriage is, undoubtedly, one of the biggest commitments in life. It is a union between two people who are committed to going through life’s ups and downs together.
When two people get married, some things change about them and the way they do things. Saturday Sun spoke to some married men and women who revealed how marriage changed their lives.
Mrs Awele Edmund-Omadudu said that marriage made her more coordinated. She added that getting married made her realise that she has to seek the opinions of her spouse before taking certain decisions about things she wants to do.
Edmund-Omadudu stated that marriage changed her life for the best because she has a life partner who has her back and one who seeks her opinion too before taking decisions. She said:
“As a couple, we also present our decisions to God to help us take the right steps. Marriage changed me because it made me more family-oriented and determined to build a peaceful and loving family.
Before marriage, I wasn’t into fashion. I didn’t pay too much attention to my dress sense. But after I married my husband, all that changed. Because my husband loves to dress well, and loves to see people look good, I had to adjust. I had to change how I dress.
Before marriage, I didn’t use makeup but after we got married, my husband insisted that he loves seeing me all made up, he loves to see me fix acrylic nails and I had to start doing these things. The funny thing is that I even started enjoying doing them.”
Narrating how she met her husband, she revealed that she met her husband in 2015 in Lagos. He was based in Port Harcourt then and she was in Lagos. She said that they met through a friend during a network marketing event because he was in her team. She added:
“When we met, it was all about business. We were just friends and business partners. We continued being friends until November 2016. He was opening an office in Port Harcourt and I decided to go down there to support him. He was excited and surprised. He picked me up from the airport and from there, we connected emotionally.”
Edmund-Omadudu stated that in December of the same year, he proposed to her out of the blues during their network marketing company’s end-of-the-year party and award ceremony which took place in Warri, Delta state. She said:
“I was shocked because we weren’t dating. Everybody was urging me to say yes and I said yes. That was when we officially started dating. I won’t forget that date. It was December 22nd, 2016. By the 1st and 3rd of June 2017, we got married. It has been a smooth and rough journey at the same time.”
Edmund-Omadudu said she loves everything about being married. She said that she loves the fact that she has a life companion who is also her business partner because they are both entrepreneurs.
“We are born-again Christians. My husband is a pastor and gospel minister. I love that we pray together, share our visions and dreams with each other and go through tough times together.”
Speaking further about how her life changed after marriage, the network marketer said she gained another family in her in-laws. She stated that she is married to an Urhobo man and her in-laws are fantastic people who treat her well contrary to what some people say about her husband’s tribespeople.
When Mr Chibuzor Obinwa met his wife online in January 2010, he said he never thought it was possible to meet one’s soul mate on social media. He added that he’s the kind of person who believes that you have to meet somebody in person to get to know them well.
Going down memory lane, Obinwa stated that at the time he met his wife online, he was ready to get married and asked God to help him marry a good woman. He said:
“I got married in March 2011. I think she was God given to me. What attracted me to her was the fact that we had similar family backgrounds.”
According to Obinwa, he was surprised that his wife wasn’t in any relationship when they met because she was mature, beautiful and hardworking. He said:
“I asked her how come she was still single and she told me that was tired of being in relationships and told God to send her a good man. She was down to earth and carried herself well. She was a family-oriented person and was responsible. We hit it off immediately and got married afterwards.”
Obinwa said that even though he has always been a responsible person, marriage changed him in some ways. He said that he learned discipline and moral values from his family so he knew he was going to replicate the same things in his marriage. He added:
“Marriage changed me because I have to think about my wife before taking certain decisions. I have to be an example to my children and family. I have to watch what I say and do.
I have to be more sensible with money because I need to take care of my wife and children. And I also have to think about my wife’s emotions before taking some actions.”
Mrs Grace Zemehe Jere James-Li said that marriage changed her life because she had to come to terms with ‘us’ versus me’ mentality. She said she met her husband in 2007, as they both attended the same church in Ikeja, Lagos.
She added that he asked her out on the church premises and because she liked him, she said yes, and their marital journey was set in motion.
She told Saturday Sun that being married means that her partner needs to be put into consideration before she does anything because she is answerable to him, the same way he defers to her before taking decisions.
James-Li stated that being married entails a lot and both parties need to be physically, mentally and emotionally ready to walk through the path. She added that a lot of things changed in her life after she got married and she had to adjust to many things to find balance.
The entrepreneur based in Jos, Plateau State noted that adjusting some things about her after she got married was challenging. She added that childbearing was another thing that changed her life forever because of the challenges of having and raising children. She said:
“Raising a family is draining and no child’s play. It requires you to be ready physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There are times I just feel like running away.”
James-Li recalled some of the qualities that attracted her to her husband. She said he’s jovial, noting that you can’t be around him and not laugh. She said:
“He sings, what a great voice he has! Those who have listened to him sing can attest to my claims. He’s God-fearing and down to earth. He doesn’t drink or smoke and he is also selfless. I can go on and on when it comes to James.”
Even though James-Li loves that she married her lifetime partner, she said she doesn’t like the extra luggage in terms of the responsibilities and challenges she faces in her marriage. She added that there are times when she feels overwhelmed with challenges, and she tells herself that if she wasn’t married, she wouldn’t be musing about so many things.
Mrs Nkechinyere Eke Charles also said that marriage made her more patient and tolerant in her dealings with people. She added that she got married in 2013, and since then, she rarely gets personal space and alone time. She said:
“I had an identity crisis at some point, that my personal interest began to take a back seat. But I had to take control of that. Today, I have learned to balance things.”
Faith Eze-Okenyi who got married in 2018 said that marriage changed her life because she now has a lot of responsibilities and has to consider her husband and children regarding a lot of decisions she makes. She said:
“I have to make ends meet and I can’t afford to be lazy or idle because I have kids who depend on me. I became more focused and success driven after I got married. Even though it can be overwhelming taking care of my family, I have to be conscious and make out time for myself.”
On the changes she went through after marriage, she said she now has someone she can fall back on for emotional support and financial assistance. She added that the companionship she enjoys in marriage is everything because she can be herself without fear of harsh judgment.
Eze-Okenyi said she met her husband at a relative’s house and was attracted to him because he is sensitive and caring. She said she was smitten by him because he was tall, dark and handsome plus extremely neat and well-dressed.
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Victor Fagbemi, a generator seller in Lagos said that one thing marriage changed about him is curtailing his reckless lifestyle. He stated that during the weekends, he would party like his life depended on it and spend money anyhow but after he married his introverted wife, things changed. He said:
“Before I got married six years ago to my introverted wife, an Igbo woman, I was a party animal. I would leave my house on Friday night and come back late on Sunday night. I would spend money on drinks for myself and my friends until I run out of cash. I was also selfish, but all these changed after I got married.”
Fagbemi, who met his wife at a family party seven years ago, said he initially thought she was the party type. He quickly added that when he got to know her better, he discovered that she was an introvert who didn’t care much about going out, meeting people or doing things to impress friends.
“Another thing that changed after I got married was having fewer friends. Because I didn’t want to constantly fight with my wife over my late nights, I stayed away from friends who encouraged me to continue partying and living like a bachelor.
We have two children now and I am determined to be a good example to them. I still fall off sometimes but my wife made me a better man,”
he said.