Dear MIMsters: Here’s My Plan on How to Handle My Husband who has a Heart of Stone
I am typing this with a heavy heart. I have been married for almost 12 years now to a man with a heart of stone. I have four kids, both boys and girls.
Throughout this marriage, I have suffered emotional, physical and verbal abuse in this marriage but I left all to God who has been my strength and strong hold.
I married a man who doesn’t appreciate anything about me and my family, instead he appreciates and respect outsiders.
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OK, I resigned from my job because of my kids with the promise of him helping me to start a business of my own but up till now, nothing. Instead, what I have been getting from him is trouble and malice.
Before we moved to a new place, I loaned him money that I saved when I was working. It was about 200k but up till today, he has not paid me back. Instead, he told me to be reporting to his shop to help out which I have been doing for peace’ sake but he’s still not satisfied.
I have to write down everything I sell and make daily accounts before going home. He collects all the money realized from me without giving me anything accept the money I need to cook.
Yesterday, I got back late from the shop because I had to stop to shop for food so that I can cook. Since I was so late and couldn’t meet up with cooking, I suggested we manage our leftovers till the next day. I planned to wake up early in the morning to cook. I am by no means a lazy woman. I do all my house chores, cook almost everyday and without a maid. My kids are the only ones helping me in their own little way.
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So, when he came back, he told me he wanted to eat the leftovers. I told him that I thought he would eat noodles because that’s what he likes so my kids and I can eat the left overs. He then said that I should go and eat the leftovers but I told him not to worry that the kids and I will eat fruits so he can eat the food but he didn’t answer me.
He took his shower and rejected the leftovers while the kids and I ate our fruits and went to bed. In d morning, I greeted him, said my morning prayers, and told him that I want to talk to him.
In a gentle voice, I asked him why he rejected the leftovers last night and I poured out my heart to him, telling him all that I have endured just for peace to reign.
Yet, he didn’t utter a word to me and left for the shop. After cooking, I went to the shop. He didn’t talk to me as he completely ignored me. I just sat down there, looking at people.
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I felt humiliated and was totally ashamed of myself, wondering how I ended up with this kind of man with a heart of stone. He enjoys keeping malice with me and I end up begging him just for peace to reign. Now, I am totally tired of begging and praying for him.
I have a small amount of money which I want to start a small business with. I want to sell food but I have not seen a space yet. Should I continue going to my husband’s shop or should I look for a means of doing my own thing? It’s obvious that my husband is not ready to help me with any dime.
I know he’s also cheating on me but I won’t let that weigh me down. I have been performing my duties very well by all means without any reciprocation from him. I am tired of this man.
he beats u and cheats on u n u still live with him?hmmmn.i hop he won’t kill u some day cos ur kids would really suffer.keep on wt ur plans on thee food biz.but if u ask me I wd say wlk away
Life is meant to be enjoyed and nobody should rob yo of your enjoyment cos we are all the same in the sight of God. This is not wort it at all.
By all means start your own business please.
you need to be happy for your self if you think you can cope again get your work stand and leave him .your happiness matters .
Pls stop going to his shop, tell him you you are are no longer going to be doing ‘Ajayi Work, wet no get salary’. Let him go and employ someone to manage his shop for him.
When he is keeping malice with you, totally ignore him and look your best. Call your friend on the phone, laugh, sing and cook delicious meals. Join a gym and always look goood.
You need to start your own business because you can’t depend on someone that doesn’t appreciate you and thinks you don’t deserve having money
My sister,life is always like that. I had a similar challenge. what i did was to start up a business under his nose without him knowing.Gradually ,little by little,i rented a shop and by the time you know it i forgot every of his attitudinal character.Mind you, most men are cheat,so it is as good as you ignored that aspect of his life. Concerning his malice attitude ,overlook him.Stop begging him so far as you did not offend him do your duty as a wife and live the rest for him and God. When you serve him food and he ignores it,bullshit him don’t ask him why and don’t beg him. He has known your weakness that’s why he is taking advantage of you by keeping quiet. If you check out there, one small girl will be dealing with him and he will be dying for the babe. So, please wake up,overlook him,start up a business that your hand can carry,make sure you keep fit,always look good,talk less when with him ,stand on your feet and forge ahead. He does not worth your stress. Thanks you have kids,just be happy because of them.