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Dear Mimsters: How Do I Move On From A Husband Like Mine?

Dear Mimsters: How Do I Move On From A Husband Like Mine?

Dear Mimsters, please, advise me as I am so confused, frustrated, and unhappy. My story is long but I will try to shorten it.

I got married in 2015 and ever since then, I have not known peace. It’s always been from one problem to another. You see, since I got married, I have never felt loved by my husband, neither in words nor in actions. It’s been the reverse.

READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: His Family Doesn’t Like Me But We Have A Child

I went through hell with my husband and his family but God answered me and gave me a child. I forgave them thinking all will be well, but no, it’s always been problems everywhere, yet, I kept enduring.

Fast-forward to 2020 when I caught my husband and my niece making out, to be honest, I almost died, but I still let it go.

Now to the reason why I am writing. The whole of last year, I was jobless. My husband saw it as an opportunity to starve me. He would go out when he likes and returns when he likes. A particular neighbor of mine was the one feeding me (a married woman), even to the point of buying me washing and bathing soap. All through last year, I was in and out of depression. If you’d seen me last year, you would vomit.

I am not sure my husband has ever told me I love you. Even when I send him a love text message, he won’t reply. As soon as he gets home, he will find fault in everything I do, however irrelevant that thing is.

READ ALSO: Dear MIMsters: Aren’t These Enough Reasons To Make Me Cheat On My Husband?

Yet, I endured. He doesn’t touch me if I don’t touch him, and even if I do, he will make sure I know that I’m disturbing him, so it’s always as if I’m forcing myself on him, and if I wait till he touches me, I will wait forever.

I have seen different massages on his phone that show that he has a serious lover, but I don’t know how to cheat on a man. The most confusing part of this whole thing is that this man will hold my neck, yell, abuse, and threaten to throw me out if I smile with any man. This man wants to control even who I greet.

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During this year’s January fast, I engaged like never before, and N1m which I have never gotten miraculously dropped in my account. I told him, and boom this man started acting lovingly. But when I told him that I have invested 500k of the money which I used to pay for a small shop,  purchase a POS, and also print this daily Card marking cards for business, you should have seen his rage and anger. He asked me why I touched that money without his consent. He said some men would have demanded their wives to transfer all the money into their account, or is it because he is a loving man that’s why I didn’t inform him that I have started using the money?

The next thing he did was to pack my things, opened the door, and kept them by the door. Then, he told me to leave his house, saying that he cannot cope with a woman who isn’t submissive to her husband. So, I carried my 2-year-old daughter and then boom, he held my neck, saying that he would kill me.

And my baby was watching everything. I want to leave this marriage, but I am scared and confused. How do I raise a child alone? How do I cope with my daughter and my two businesses? Also, will any man look at me again? I am just 31 years old, do men marry women who can’t keep their marriages? How do I handle the financial responsibilities?

Please everyone advise me. Can I do it on my own with God’s help of course? How about what people will say? What do I even tell my daughter when she’s grown up?

Please lastly, is it advisable to use my hands to pack my small things, cause I only have a few clothes? Please what should I do?

View Comment (1)
  • Dear, ma’am. Bless your heart and be calm. I’m not married, however, one of the things that scares me in marriage is a spouse who curses, torments, is vindictive, evil and domineering. Trust me, he doesn’t love nor respect you, you should leave that marriage. As far as starting all over, women with grown ups and teenagers as children find men in their lives, let alone you with a toddler. A man that would love and cherish you. You can do this. You would find out how comfortable, creative and resourceful you are when you leave the lion’s den as you’ll now have peace. Trust me, when he sees you are fine without him, he’ll come begging.
    ? mama, you’ve got this.

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